Tap into Your Inner Self with Insights from Natalie Bedard

Welcome back to the Real Life Momz podcast. This is a place where you can take a break from all your to dos and take time to focus on you. Today, we're going to explore the power of meditation and its effects on the mind and body. I have my fellow mom here, Natalie Bedard, also known as NatNat. And she is the founder of Lift Oneself, a company that offers energy healing services. She specializes in releasing emotional blockages and reconnecting with our intuition. Thank you NatNat for coming on the show today.

Speaker 2: You're welcome. And I'm looking forward to this conversation, Lisa, I want to be playful and remind the mums to bring play back into their life.

Speaker: Uh, we always need to remind everyone, but especially moms, to bring the play back into our lives. And we should know that because our kids are always playing and enjoying, right? So it should like even energetically come to us. Exactly. Yet

Speaker 2: we [00:01:00] can get bombarded because the play is so unstructured with young ones that we forget to do unstructured play.

And it can be all kinds of different ways, yet once you can incorporate play into your life, it releases the tension and the seriousness, and then you can be childlike.

That's why I still keep my nickname as Nat Nat, so that people can engage in that childlike, and come out of the seriousness of, you know, life. It's much more fun when you can laugh and smile at things. I get that there are some heavy topics and parenting is, as I say it, it's the highest spiritual practice to learn about ourselves.

So, you know, our children reflect a lot of things that sometimes we just don't want to see. Yet, if you're a warrior, then you're willing to see that reflection and feel some emotions. Because they, the one thing that they really can ignite is fear in [00:02:00] us.

So of course my nervous system is going to be ramped up in the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. So being able to take a moment to catch yourself. And validate what you're feeling because we're in a society that , it's like, it's an aversion just to say, I I'm in fear. I feel fear. I feel scared.

Speaker: , I feel like fear is something that, I know I feel, so I could totally relate to that. And I try to catch myself because I hate when it controls my decisions. Whenever I'm deciding something out of fear, it's never the right call anyway. So I always have to take a step back.

I love that you said that I know that I've Look through your website and one of the things that I love about what I found was So many of us look for outside answers. We look out in the world to try to solve our problems Maybe calm our fears and our nervous systems, but you say to look in and look inside So, can you talk about that a little bit more and maybe tips on even how to do that?

Speaker 2: So Lisa, [00:03:00] will you join me in a meditation?

Speaker: Oh, I would

Speaker 2: love that. Okay. And for the listeners, I'm going to ask myself and Lisa to close her eyes yet. A lot of times people are listening to a podcast while they're driving or doing something with their visual. So I'm going to ask you, please don't close your eyes.

Cause I want you to stay safe and everybody around you to stay safe yet. The other prompts you're able to follow with whatever activity you're doing. So Lisa, I'll ask you to get comfortable in your seat and you're going to gently close your eyes. And you're going to begin breathing in and out through your nose.

And you're going to bring your awareness to watching your breath go in and out through your nose. You're not going to try and control your breath. You're just going to keep your awareness on watching your breath go in and out through your nose. Becoming aware of its rhythm. [00:04:00] There may be sensations or feelings coming up in the body.

Let them come up. You're safe to feel. You're safe to let go. Surrender the need to control. Release the need to resist. And just be.

Be with your breath. Drop into your body.

There may be some thoughts or memories popping up in your mind. It's fine. Don't push it away. Just be. Just bring your awareness back to your breath.

It's a space of acceptance and surrender. A space of observing.[00:05:00]

A space of feeling and releasing.

Continue staying with your breath. Dropping deeper into your body.

Continue staying with your breath.

Again, those thoughts or memories may be popping up. And it's fine. Just gently bring your awareness back to your breath.[00:06:00]

While still staying with your breath at your own time and at your own pace, you're going to gently open your eyes while still staying with your breath. So by doing these mindful moments and anchoring into your breath, you start to become aware of what's going on internally. And a lot of times we. Don't even as moms and especially if you have little ones, it's really challenging to really navigate your inner world because you're so preoccupied with the outside world, with so many responsibilities, yet it's in your benefit to take these moments.

If you're on the toilet or washing the dishes or trying to prepare a meal, you're able to do that practice. Like I just showed you. By anchoring in the breath and allowing there to be a space to validate what you're feeling, what pressures there may be, [00:07:00] burdens, to do lists, yet allowing that just to be set aside so you can just be in the moment for a moment, just be with yourself.

And at times, you know, there's stress or there's frustration or different things and just having that space to validate yourself for that. And not telling you you should be something different and that you're not berating yourself that I love my children, but sometimes they just drive me bonkers and I need some space or some time alone.

You can have those two things. be side by side. It's not one or the other. I am always reflecting of what is it going, what's going on inside you.

I know you're trying to figure it out through looking at other people or other things, especially, you know, social media is that wonderful comparison trap that we can just berate ourselves that we're just not enough and not getting it right yet, you are the owner of your [00:08:00] story. And looking within, that's where your answers are.

You need to do some introspection to better understand yourself. There's, you know, not everything about you is great. That's why we do shadow work. And that's why we bring those fragmented parts in so that they don't hijack our behavior. and, you mentioned, Lisa, about fear.

Speaker 2: I, uh, fear is healthy. I know people are like, Oh, no, don't fear. And especially there's spiritual or religious texts of do not fear where it's like, well, a healthy nervous system needs fear and that's another, myth that I want to break is that people think when I'm meditating, my mind won't have any thoughts.

If your mind has no thoughts, then your brain dead. That is not the point of meditation. And another thing is people think that once I meditate a healthy nervous system is like Kumbaya Zen. I'm just, in bliss and peace, not doing anything. And I'm like, that's an unhealthy [00:09:00] nervous system because it's just on the brake.

You want a nervous system that's able to flow up and down. It's like a gas pedal and brake. You're able to pivot between the two, like you're driving a car and you're pivoting between the gas and brake because of whatever you're experiencing. Because life is always going to be life and life is about change and life is impermanent.

So your nervous system is always navigating in the unknown and uncertainty, and a lot of people, they're asleep to that. They think they have all this control. That's why I say surrender the need to control, release the need to resist, and just be. To recognize you are always in uncertainty and the unknown

I know the big buzzword right now is healing. And that and the work that I do is energy healing. And what that is, is that There's things that are imprinted in your nervous system that you're not even aware of. So that's why I say go within, understand yourself. And [00:10:00] so the healing is three simple things for me, what I provide to people.

There's safety in the nervous system so that you can surrender those defense mechanisms so that you can go within yourself. And then there's radical honesty, because you need to be able to face yourself to see what you are creating within yourself. Which is very difficult because the world always wants to say, well, you're not the one it's everybody else and blame.

And it's like, well, you're running the show inside. And then the other one is feeling your authentic emotions because they're messengers. They're trying to give you messages yet. We haven't been equipped to really understand what emotional intelligence is. A lot of us feel secondary emotions, not even our authentic emotions.

So I know everybody's like, oh, I just want to be authentic and true to me. And it's like, well, that's some warrior work because you're going to feel some emotions that you never felt before and it's going to suck and it's not going to feel good. And [00:11:00] that's why it's so important for mothers to have that self care, to give themselves permission. And to be radical about it because your mental well being impacts your children. And it's not in a way that like you subconsciously, you're trying to do that. It's like, you don't realize your children are always looking for safety like I can age myself from half a century, so I'm 50 years old. When I was young, I would go into a room and be like, something's not right.

And I could see that the adults, there was something. And a lot of times what I was met with, Oh, it's nothing, there's nothing wrong. It's just in your head. So we started disconnecting from our intuition and allowing our nervous system. to read the energy, because we're feeling bodies that think. And so then we started believing the lie that the adults know better, and we started to not trust emotions, not trust our intuition of reading what the vibration is, [00:12:00] because, well, that must be a bad thing to feel that, because they're telling me there's nothing wrong, and obviously I'm not reading it right.

So then you become confused of. Well, what are, what, what's the conflict? What, what's really real and what's not. And so I help people to come back into their body, to trust their intuitions, to feel their emotions and to start recognizing there's no right way to live life. It's finding your way.

Speaker: For so many people who have been kind of brought up that way where it's almost taught us to distrust what we're thinking.

How do you reconnect with that intuition and start trusting it again?

Speaker 2: As I said, the safety of the nervous system, because the famous word of ego is our defense mechanisms of the nervous system, blocking us from our vulnerability. So what you need to do is connect back into your vulnerability, and that requires radical honesty.

So you have to be honest with yourself to be able to face yourself, and you have to feel your [00:13:00] emotions. So it's not like I understand we are in a microwave society of just give me a pill or give me a quick fix. Yet this is the process for yourself. And there's somatic releases that go on because once you feel your emotions, your body is able to release the energy that has been stored and stuck in your body.

Speaker 3: And

Speaker 2: then all of a sudden there's like, Oh, there's tension that's released. There's openness. I can breathe more deeper. And then there's more of a clarity of a voice and a messaging coming in. And it's like, Oh, I haven't really heard that voice before. And so you start. Trusting that voice and listening to that voice and I understand at the beginning where you said like where there's fear and if you make decisions out of fear.

Well, the intuition will activate fear because it's going to bring into some unknown and uncertainty.

Speaker 3: So

Speaker 2: at times when you're like, oh, I want to do something, but logically it doesn't make sense or what. I've been told I should do, it's going to [00:14:00] activate some fear. So you're going to navigate. That's why I say there's healthy fear when we're bombarded with too much fear, then yes, like you said, it makes it that I make these wrong decisions that don't serve me

Speaker 3: where

Speaker 2: it's like intuition will activate some fear.

So that's why that, sentences do it afraid.

But yet again, we just do not have the verbiage to acknowledge fear to let fear be in the party, like stop with the elephant in the room and as if it doesn't exist. It's like, let's engage.

It's like, understand the wholeness of you as a W. And, and the shadow work that people talk about is those fragmented parts that you've separated from yourself because you didn't like those parts or society told you it's not accepted. So now it's bringing all those parts together, the holes with an H together into a hole with a W, so that you can be wholesome.

Better understanding. Oh, [00:15:00] I'm responsible for my emotions. I'm responsible for my triggers. Like, yes, when you go around certain people, especially our children, boy, our children can push some buttons.

But really they're not pushing the buttons. We're in charge of the buttons.

Speaker 3: They

Speaker 2: just activate us to push the button to activate the nervous system. So it's understanding what are these wounds that shaped my nervous system to activate fear. We understand that when, the nervous system is in a fight and flight, that your executive brain, the front brain that makes, decisions and solutions and being able to regulate, it gets disconnected and you're in your limbic.

Speaker 3: Your

Speaker 2: limbic is your intuition and there's a good part of it. Yet you need the harmony of both. It's not one or the other. It's really understanding how to blend the two and understand the conflict. And I get, Where you're asking, okay, well, how do I connect an intuition? Because it doesn't make sense. Why would one part want to push down my [00:16:00] emotions, but this other part's trying to push it up?

And it's like, well, guess what? You're the one that created the programming in this. So now it's to look, how did I identify with certain things? And what were their perceptions? How did I stop myself from feeling certain things because it was a sense of protection? Like, you may have been in an environment when you were young and anger was not allowed.

And if you showed any kind of anger, you could have been beaten or ostracized or withheld from things. So we're very intelligent that, okay, that's not allowed, let me mask it. So then you didn't know how to befriend anger. You didn't know how to feel that emotion. So it's been stuffed. And then now that you're an adult, it's starting to come out in ways that are not serving you to be able to be in relationships, be in society, hold up a job, all these different things.

So it's like, Oh, this defense mechanism that Protecting me as a child is no [00:17:00] longer serving me as an adult. So now, instead of berating myself that I shouldn't and I should know, and it's like, no, inquire and use curiosity. What is the underpinning? What am I actually feeling and what did I not feel back then that I need to feel now?

Speaker: Well, that's. Deep work. But lovely. It's such great work. Do you have questions like where you start to recognize like, okay, this is an old pattern of mine that I developed in childhood, say, So that I can duck out of situations that maybe were occurring around me.

And now I see it in my adulthood and it's not serving me. Is there a question I can stop, pause and ask myself? Besides, is this serving me now is what I can think of, right? That you can kind of walk it through for people who haven't been able to do this work yet, but maybe we'll be doing it in the future.

Speaker 2: What am I feeling?

Speaker: That's an easy one, right?

Speaker 2: And emotions are messengers. So all of a sudden, if you allow yourself to really ask, [00:18:00] like, you know, what are you feeling and allow a space to for it to come up. Then all of a sudden it's like, Oh yeah, okay. I mean, like whatever that, that feeling is, then the messages start to come out

then you can see, Oh, I'm somewhere that I possibly don't want to be.

I'm repeating a pattern. Cause you know, please don't berate yourself when you notice that you repeat a pattern. That's just what the mind does. That's just what humans do is very difficult to come out of our patterns. We just mimic what we experience and what we see. And It's very insidious. Also, you'll think like, Oh no.

And then when you unpack it, it's like, it's the same thing, just a different shade of color. Like, Oh my gosh. And so that's why, you know, that's why it's, it's called radical compassion. Because it's going to, you're going to need it for your whole lifetime. Like people think with healing, you arrive somewhere and it's all gone.

And it's like, Oh, healing means you [00:19:00] identify it so that when it comes back up and it visits, you're not going to tell it, it can't come in. You're going to allow it to come in yet. You're going to let it know you're not taking the driver's seat. You're sitting in the back, but I'm not going to push you away because I don't feel the activation anymore of.

Whatever that sensation or feeling, like sometimes it's shame, sometimes it's guilt, sometimes it's embarrassment or the anger or the sadness. Yet when that part comes in, it's like, okay, what, what is it that you're trying to communicate to me that I have not been listening to? Cause I've been trying to run away from you thinking that that will serve me or trying to bypass.

One thing I know is you cannot override biology. You cannot override the nervous system. It is a very intelligent system. So it's face the pain, face yourself and ask yourself some really, direct [00:20:00] questioning. Yet, it takes time to be able to do that because the ego is so intelligent that as soon as you start talking directly to it, it will mutate to hide and, and cover up the vulnerability.

for listening. So that's why it really takes the process. And in my space with, my gift, it's just people feel a safety of no judgment. And it's their defense mechanisms go into deactivation and then they can do that radical honesty to start making sense of things for themselves because it could even be, you know, things from when they were childhood and there were certain experiences with their parents, yet they've never expressed it because they think that that's dishonoring them and not allowing them to see like you had your own emotions in that experience.

And it's not picking one or the other, and it's not about blame, it's about allowing yourself to finally have emotions and express yourself. Because there's some things that our [00:21:00] parents did, they did to the best of their awareness, yet they did some things that, you know, they silenced us, or we weren't allowed to express ourselves in our authentic way because it needed to look a certain way.

All these different things. So to finally give yourself that space of radical honesty to just puke it out, let it come out of your system. And then it's like, Oh, what do I do with this? Which parts do I want? Or do I want none of this anymore? Because it doesn't serve me.

Speaker: It's such important work because first of all, I think as parents, we don't take the time to say, how are we feeling? Or get quiet to even maybe recognize. All this stuff that's coming up, right, even just in this podcast alone, like just having that quiet space and listening to you.

I'm like, Oh, yeah, I feel like that too. , so I think there's probably a lot of moms like listening to this and, and feeling that way of like, wow, [00:22:00] okay, getting quiet. But what resources, because as we start to bring up all this stuff and kind of churn some, some stuff up, what resources can help support some of those listeners?

Speaker 2: Well, I'm a resource because I offer one on one, so I have a company called Lift One Self.

One other resource that is very, powerful for any individual is journaling. Is start writing and allowing your honesty to be on paper. And if there's something that you don't want anybody knowing about at least you can burn it after or shred it. It's just the process of being honest and letting it out.

Another part is you need movement in your life. And I understand with mums they can feel really burnt out and tired and I just don't have the energy. So what I say is put on some music and dance. Like music is our quickest activation and find the music that you know, that no matter what, it's going to get you moving.

Like it, even if it's humming or [00:23:00] moving in the bed or just swaying, at least you're getting some movement because the nervous system needs that. I understand like myself, when I hear exercise, I'm like, I don't want to hear that. So movement just helps me better that, okay, the nervous system needs some expression to move the body and everything else.

And then, if you have spaces where you have friends that can be confident, but that also, the nervous system's very sly, so it looks at things and it's very afraid of being judged and losing that connection with other people. So then it's like finding therapy, finding those resources where you can talk it out and start to make sense.

I'm more than trauma informed. I'm trauma competent. I really understand the nervous system. Cause like I almost died 10 years ago. I had lesions in my brainstem and in my cerebellum. And then I learned meditation a year after that. And then I really got profound of understanding the [00:24:00] traumas that were lodged in my, nervous system, so I had somatic releases.

And then I put myself through boot camp of once I realized I had these wounds and understood I was repeating patterns. I removed alcohol, I removed sex, I removed spending. I was meditating in the living room with, I have twin boys. They were five at the time when I learned meditation. And when they teach meditation, they were like, create a room that's quiet so you can meditate.

And I was like, That's not working with twin boys. And I'm a solo parent. So it's like, okay, I'm going to have to, you know, meditate in the living room. So, and in doing that, I really understood the nervous system, how it's always trying to control things, trying to analyze things, trying to look.

And it was like, okay, bring it back. That's not you. That's not for you. So that's why I really understand the thoughts that we have and the sensations and feelings because I've. Put myself in really lived experience [00:25:00] and really got to understand myself.

And so yeah, journaling is important, dancing, putting on music do therapy, I understand like trauma informed, it's important because everybody experiences trauma in different degrees. There's like the big T trauma, and then there's small traumas that we go through.

Like being human is traumatic, and the way the state of the world is, If nobody's being traumatized by all the things that they see, I'm like, wow, what, what are you, what are you microdosing to really numb yourself from feeling? So, yeah. And I also have a podcast where I engage in conversations like this. And I wanted to curate it in a way where we get a lot of experts that tell us what to do, where really where we'll find the healing is when we can relate to people's stories.

And like, show me that the darkness that you traversed. So that I don't [00:26:00] feel alone in this and that I can see that there is a way out. Like I'm a lived experience. I'm not just a textbook. I'm not just theory. I have lived experience and I am in a position where, medical systems that I wouldn't be, other people didn't say I would be, and people are just fascinated.

And then when people are in my energy space, they're like, how do you think like this, like what? It's taking me work. and doesn't mean that there's not things that go talking to me in the background.

It's that I've learned not to listen to those things anymore. They're just back in the background. They're not in the forefront where they're taking over things.

Speaker 3: So I hope

Speaker 2: that answered your question a bit. And I'm also on social media and I leave a lot of affirmations and different things to do introspection so that people don't feel alone because it's healing journey.

And it can be very isolating and lonely because it's like, how am I going to [00:27:00] reveal these things without feeling shame and guilt? And when you have to you are going to feel shame and guilt yet. You can go profoundly of. What is the shame trying to protect me from, from actually feeling?

Speaker: Tell the listener what your website is so that they

Speaker 2: can find you.

It's liftoneself. com. So that's L I F T O N E S E L F dot C O M. And I also created a 10 minute meditation for your listeners so that they can go to liftoneself. com forward slash gift So G I F T, they just have to opt in and then they'll have a 10 minute meditation and then that one, I also help you to do deep belly breaths. So because stillness can Bring a lot of aversion and we don't realize, you know, with technology and especially being a parent of the young ones or older ones, we get easily stimulated by [00:28:00] other things.

But to be with ourselves and that stillness, that brings up a lot of things in the, in the body. So it's like, okay, how do I regulate the nervous system to ride those waves so that I can get, you know, more profound and more deep within myself?

Speaker: Great. Such great resources. I mean, you totally answered the question and then some.

So thank you. What would you like the listeners to do after they get off this podcast? What should they start doing today?

Speaker 2: Remember to be kind to yourself. We tend to think kindness is supposed to be on the outside. And what I hear people say is like, well, I'm trying to be kind to myself.

And then my response to them is, well, if you're not being kind to yourself, what are you really giving to other people? Because everything comes from the inside out.

Speaker: That's beautiful. Thank you so much. You gave us. So much information, right? So much of that nervous system, [00:29:00] education, along with just some really helpful tools and that beautiful meditation.

So thank you so much for coming on the show today.

Speaker 2: Thank you so much, Lisa, for the light and the space that you are creating for parents. Like you are giving them a wealth of resources. So thank you so much for doing this dedication and this commitment. It's warrior work and it's needed. So thank you.

Speaker: Oh, thank you.

That means a lot to me.

Thank you again for joining us for this episode. Make sure you check out the show notes

And grab that free meditation on NatNat's website. And of course, make sure you share this with anyone who needs to hear this information. NatNat provided so much insight and so much information that we want to make sure any mom that needs to hear this and not feel alone.

We'll hear this episode. And of course, until next week, make sure you keep carving out that time for yourself, because you matter.