Welcome to Real Life Momz. I'm your host, Lisa Foster and Real Life Mom is a podcast. That's all about real conversations about real-life issues that parents deal with every day. Our mission is to connect moms by talking about these topics and to continue these conversations in our real-life moms, Facebook group. Where we would love for you to become part of our community. So many parents struggle with if they should return to work after having a child, or maybe they just want to do something new and change their career. This is never an easy decision for a parent as it doesn't just affect them, but also their whole family.

Today, I invited my inspiring friend, Jen Shepherd to share her story as a single mom and her journey and opening her own practice, and following her passion. Hi Jen, welcome to Real Life Momz.

Lisa, thank you so much for asking me to be on I'm thrilled and so proud and excited of you for having this opportunity for all of us.

Thank you. Well, I feel today is just, it's an important topic because I think as parents, we have to make choices about, you know, our careers. Do we want to go back to work? Do we want to start a new career? And I think it's never easy because it's not really only about ourselves, right? It's about also the dynamics of our family. So, you know, you're a single mom and you have two boys and you actually start, you know, just went and said, I'm going to start and run my own business. I did. Right. And so, um, so yeah, so I am a physical therapist as well, that's how I met Lisa at Children's Hospital forever ago and we all work together. And uh, and then from there we all branch out into where's that next calling. And for me, my calling was, um, going up to Steamboat Springs in, Colorado and doing a year-long fellowship to specialize in manual therapy. I just got married.

My husband was in Denver and we were back and forth. Um, so it really was, it was intense advance practice in my profession. So, um, so yes,  my career is taking off and I'm newly married. And, and the reason why I chose PT in the first place, which I think many of us do is because it provides such an opportunity. We don't have to work the hours that doctors do. Like we love, you know, we love science, we love medicine, but the thought of working doctor's hours was not enticing to me at all. Even as a younger woman before children, like, cause I wanted to have a family. So, um, that's where PT was a beautiful, I thought a beautiful blend where part-time working was an option for me because the family was always going to be important for me. So again, back to, you know, here, I'm taking off in my career, and then I'm ready to start a family. So as I come out of fellowship. I think where do I belong? So, most physical therapists, work in clinics and they work in hospitals, which is wonderful for so many people.

And I was just coming out of fellowship. Um, and I was pregnant. So trying to figure out pregnancy and baby and working all at the same time.

And it was really challenging. So, and it still is Lisa, it's never not challenging right. To juggle your work and your kids, no matter what age or what stage, but at the time, um, so I left fellowship a little early to get ready to have my firstborn. Here's my career, here's my kid's, and, and he was a colicky baby. So I was grateful that I could stay home at the same time. There was this itch to practice because all of my peers, Lisa, were out starting their private practices and they were teaching and they were doing all of these amazing things in the practice.

And it was really hard for me to again, make that choice that, yes, I would love to do that, but right now I need to keep my primary focus on this little baby who was crazy colicky.

I'm trying to figure out how to be a mom, but there was always this little itch. So again, grateful that, you know, in our PT world we can do part-time. So, I tried going back into a clinic, you know, just part-time or as needed. And again, back to the skillset really, I wasn't satisfied being in a traditional clinic anymore. So I was trying to remember like, what made me do that leap? Like, let's just try, let's just try to go out on my own.

How do I keep this with low overhead? How do I go out there and treat, ask people to pay me directly? Because again, in healthcare, so much of it is insurance-based. So it is a different model as well for people to pay fee for service, right?

The feeling that you're worth the fee. I think not only as a parent, you know, we have that big heart, but also as a healthcare practitioner taking other people's money directly is very difficult. Right. So that's a whole other avenue.

Which we can circle circle back to that as well. Yeah, for sure. Um, so it was one of those and even, What do you charge? What's my value. What's the value for service, right? How do you put a price tag on, um, what you charge for the quality of life, and is my work going to do enough for you, right? That it's worth the time that you put into it and the money that you pay for it. But so I just, I was so fortunately that and not,  I was married, my husband had a full-time job and he had benefits.

So I didn't have that worry of, oh my gosh, I need to hustle to pay the bill. So I was able to dip my toe in the water and I was able to treat maybe like four patients a week.

And I just, again, really just paved the way I popped on Craigslist, like who, who has a room that they could share with me for nominal because I really wanted to keep overhead low. I wasn't in a place. I didn't want to take out a big loan. I didn't know how to do that at least. So we weren't trained in business school. Right? No. Yeah. So, um, so yeah, I had found a believe my first place. I think actually Lisa, I started treating people out of my house first. Cause I think that's where I felt most comfortable friends and our family. Um, and then from there, Hey, I want to start treating out.

So from there, I guess it slowly grew because again, my primary was taking care of my little guys, so it was just enough to keep my hands going. So again, there were no big goals. I didn't know where it was going to go, but I kept my hands busy. It was just enough. And I was so grateful to be able to work just enough to satisfy that, that professional itch of treating and working. So I guess probably I think we are going to fast-forward into divorce and then a landing in Ohio. So yeah.

You know, you did get divorced. Um, you had a second kid and then you moved back towards where your from.

Right, I wanted to bring my boys back to a small town, Ohio My mom has Alzheimer's. My dad is slowing down. So there were just many things that pulled us back to a small town, Ohio. Right. So, but here I am because so much of our work is the word of mouth and people get to know you moving back to Ohio. We start from scratch. I didn't know anybody in Cleveland. So here we go, where do I find a space to rent? Right. Searching, Craigslist, finding a place to set up shop.

Um, fortunately, I already had so much of the under the, like the the bones of the business together. Um, you know, my having my, having the registration through the state licensing. So all of that stuff, it's not easy the first time, but I knew what to do to make it happen.

And, um, again, scheduling systems, bookkeeping, all that stuff was ready to roll. I just needed to find a space and make my presence known in Cleveland. So, um, I just, I found a little space and just started knocking on doors. Hey, I'm Jen and I met the Pilates instructors. I would meet yoga instructors and just, you know, who are the people out there that I need to get to know? And, um, this is where I feel the launch was a bit scarier for me because it's wow, Jen, now you're on your own. I've become a primary. Yeah. And back to right. When I first started that, I mean, Lisa you and I would joke, oh just make me a casserole. Like again, altruistic, like we're so we're so just givers and we just want to help everybody. And we just want to give so much that now it was even more important for me. We really need to dial in the value of the service that you're providing value the value of your time, Jen, because more time away from your boys that is, you know, important, critical time.

And Jen, now you need to put food on the table and insurance for your boys. So I'm a little bit, not scarier, but a little bit more pressure to get going. And again, in, you know, a steady, I would say, not even in a steady clinic job, cause if you're hourly and you don't have your hours, your paycheck is always different. So in private practice, someone cancels, you don't get paid for that session. So it's been a challenge. Um, I guess a creative challenge, how do we plan for how much money we have every month?

How do I, how do I forecast that? Or how do I, um, stock up a little bit? Because again, you never know, like we got sick for a couple of weeks back in September. So that was two weeks, two weeks of income, right?

Because also you're the one that's staying home with your kids when they are sick. So that's yeah. And you're not getting paid for those people. You're canceling. So that's a whole thing

Right? No sick days, no vacation days.

Kind of like parenting, right? No sick days. There are challenges and risks and rewards. And on the flip side though, I'm so grateful to have the flexibility to do that. Yeah. So as frustrating and as concerning as that is sometimes as far as like, I don't have a steady paycheck, I am super grateful that I can block out a morning to go catch my kid's conference or an award ceremony or if we want to take a vacation.

So that's something that I wouldn't trade for the world is to have that. I would say that freedom, Lisa. Yeah. My, uh, my little guy is 10 and um, and I'm treating patients three days a week now. And again, it was funny. I ran into a friend at the coffee. You'll find me in coffee shops, like on the fly because there's, always something there are emails to do. There's scheduling, there's always stuff to do in the background. She's like, oh Jen, are you working today? And I said, well, I'm not treating patients, but all of the work that we do that goes into running a business that you don't directly get paid for, but you just have to do that work.

So I still need to sit down sometime and keep track of the hours of patients that we treat because that's the income, but I've, haven't kept track of all of my behind the scenes hours, which I need to do. Yeah. To kind of get maybe a better sense of how much time I spend that is nonrevenue bringing.

You inspired me to start my own private practice too, and you also helped me get it off the ground. So thank you so much.

I'm so proud of you too, but.

I, but I get it. I mean, I feel like, you know, you have to call this patient back or send this email. Those are not during your treatment time. So those are during these other times, you know, and you know, I do feel like I, I work outside of my work hours. And how do you feel that's affecting your family?

So that is so hard too because there are never enough hours, no matter what you're doing there just are not enough hours in the day. So then that is my wrestle with time, again, wrestling with the scarcity of time. But I mean, we have to be honest, right? Like we do a lot of things every day. The boys often ask, Hey mom, are you working today? Are you going into the office today? And again, usually, I'm down. I'm not up in Cleveland, on Mondays and Fridays, but you know, Hey, I've got meetings today. I take patient consult calls or I'm meeting with new people just to get the word out there.

So, um, that can be a little bit more challenging. Um, again, I'm fortunate because I can do that when the boys are at school, but when boys are, mama's gotta get her month reconciled, like I need to hunker down in my office, in my home office, lock my door and get some things done in these boys. They're home. They just want to play. So trying to, trying to figure out that little balance still of, um, alright, how do I give them maybe 30 minutes or an hour? And then, Hey guys, I've really got hunker down.

Yeah. Um, so it's, it's still not easy because they want all of you all of the time.

I do think one thing I've noticed, because same thing happens to me, you know, they're off or I do a lot of my work in the evenings. I try to do more block time. So I have my work hours and my work hours are a lot around their school hours. Um, and so I, you know, this way I can pick them up and things like that. But then I end up, you know, from like eight to 10, although hunker down in a room or something and do other things, you know, and just try to catch up. And I do think what I have noticed is my kids are watching, they're seeing me figure out how to prioritize what I need to do, how to schedule the timing.

And I think they're learning from that, you know, as much as maybe it's missing out on certain times with them, they're also learning things by watching me, organize myself and work and run a business and things like that.

So I think it is beneficial for them to see. And I think it's also really beneficial even though, cause sometimes you feel guilty. I mean, I know I feel guilty if I'm not spending all this time with my family. You know, if I have a second, I feel guilty even if I have to get something done, but I also think it's important for them to see that, you know, here's a goal of mine and I'm making it work it's and I can achieve it. And so can you reaching for goals for ourself? And I do think by fulfilling myself, I do become a better parent, you know, and they learn things from that.

100% Lisa.  Um, and right as they see that and they see, um, and I feel like that has just started to come. And so then throw in single momming. So that adds a whole other level of kids and attention and emotional needs. But, um, but they do, they see, they see how hard they work. And I feel like where they've really noticed it is, um, we just started to take family vacations as a threesome. And um, this was our second vacation.

Like you guys, your mama works hard, right? So you see your mama works hard and it's hard sometimes when she's late. But look at some of the things that we get to do, right. He's like I work hard so we can go take this vacation or so, um, so they do see that this summer, my, my big boy, um, not the summer, but he's like, I can't wait to start working. I can't wait to start working. So right. Just starting to develop those work ethics and just in that motivation and um, showing them that, yes, we can, we can make an income, we can make a good income and we can love what we're doing and how lucky we are that we can do both.

Right. Like to love and make money doing it. It doesn't get much better than that.

My kids also say that all the time, you know, they see me loving what I do. I mean, I do, I love what I do and it's, and that's what they want. You know, they don't know what that's going to be, but they see that like, I want a job that I enjoy going to every day, because then it's fun. And they have mentioned that to me over and over again, they're like, mom, you really love what you do. And I'm like, yes I do. You know? And that's why you want to find something. You love what you do. But I also think like they are also seeing us, like both of us, like stepping out of our, our like comfort zone because both of us do not know business.

And I think this is something I learned on my personal journey is that you don't have to know.

Right. You have to want, and you have to be willing to stretch yourself and find the answers and get the people around. You surround you with people who have those answers. Right. But you don't have to know in business is so scary. Like to me, my husband's in business. Right. But he doesn't really know much about the health care. And you know, I look at him and I'm like, oh my God, I would have to know all of that to open my business. But you don't, you really don't. You just have to take one step forward and learn as you go and just keep stepping forward.

And I think that's, what's so cool about opening your own practice or whatever work you choose, or even going back to school and becoming, you know, going back to school and becoming that nurse or whatever, going into business, whatever you want me to go back for it, just taking that step forward. Even if it's scary, I think there's so many benefits and they think the thing about being a parent or a mom, it's like you second, guess that because is it the right time? Cause I'm doing, it's almost weird to do something for yourself and is it taking away from my family, but really at the end of the day, it's probably giving more as a whole to your family.

Absolutely. Um, a couple of thoughts as you, as you shared that, right. It's so easy to go right into paralysis by analysis. Right. There's so much where do I start? And just, we, you know what you were saying? Um, a couple things like just what's that next thing I need to do. And um, and then also surrounding yourself. Like I often I still do, at least I just reached out to you on another is I was looking to hire somebody, right? Like who's your tribe? So grateful to have tribe throughout the country, like bouncing ideas off everybody and you know, getting everybody's input and wisdom because really if, sometimes it feels like you're alone a lone ranger, but you really aren't when you, when you look at your, at your groups and your tribes and your people to bounce ideas off and in all different areas, right.

Whether it's finance or, um, you know, when someone cancels on you or just all of these different pieces, um, and then back to what's that next right step. Um, it's so easy to get caught up. Yes. In the overwhelming, oh, there's so much what do I do? And I'm kind of in a period right now where I'm about to, um, I just hired my first front office staff.

Congratulations.

Yes. So, so learning right. And how scary it is. And it is so actually I journal, I journal all the time, Lisa, and it's so fun to go back and look and see, Hey, here's where you were dreaming Jen, about a year ago, you need help. You need admin. Cause I was getting buried on so much backend stuff that I just, I needed. I mean, I can do it all, but again, I am, you know, a lone ranger, I am the PT, I was the scheduler and the bookkeeper and so many things. And it really is. You look at all of these jobs that I had. It was too much for one person to do all of those things for as fast as my practice was growing.

So, but I was so nervous at first. Like how do I hire somebody? What do I do?

Right. All right. 1, 2, 3 go. And did I make mistakes along the way? I sure did. Right?  I think it was the summer. I started off a student who was looking for some hours and I just said, Hey, I've never hired before. This is new for me, this is new for you. We're going to kind of trial this and thank goodness. Right. She was perfect. She was wonderful. She was great to teach me. I taught her. So then it set me up for that next more official hiring thing. So. Right.

So each and I think, um, for me as well, one of my enemies has been perfect is the enemy of done. So back to along same thing, right? Um, paralysis by or yes, paralysis by analysis, but all right, just 1, 2, 3, let's try it. It might not be perfect the first time, but you're going to learn from this first step and that's going to help you for that next step of where you need to go next.

Yeah. And that, and that perfection piece, whether within parenting itself, right. Being that perfect mom or this perfect, you know, it's so great to be messy because what I've learned is messy moves, messy, gets your goals done. Right. If you wait forever for something to happen because it's never going to be perfect. So it's never going to move forward. Right. But messy or good enough as my son would say, it's good enough. I mean, but it gets things done. And I think that is so important that you don't have to be perfect.

You don't have to be fully ready. You just have to know what you want to do. And you just need to believe in that and, and move forward. Yeah.

Or else you never get anywhere and you never get anything done. Right. To keep going. We have to do that. Next thing. What's that next  thing. So.

Yes. And that's why I think it's so inspiring to hear these types of stories, like your business and opening a business as a single mom, moving to a new state, even though it's an old state for you, you know, you're going back, but it's still picking up your family, starting a business where you didn't know. It's so great for parents to hear these stories because that's what inspired me. I mean, I remember I went back to get my cranial sacral, um, certification. Right. And it was like a year long process for me. Cause it took a long time to answer the questions and do the practical and whatever, because I'm working and I'm a mom and I was working and, and having this study, you know, I felt like this was taking so much time, but it was my friends that were also going back to, you know, go into mental health or go become a nurse or whatever they were doing.

They were these parents that like just said, I'm ready to do something different. And I was like, oh, I want to do something different. But when I came home, I remember taking my exam. I came home, opened the door and I said, I pass in my family. They were so proud of me. They were like, oh, you know, like as if they were on this journey with me and I think they're on this journey for everything with me. And so that's why I think it's so inspiring for even our kids to see these things that we do, even when we're scared or even when we don't have enough time.

It's just so important to be doing these passions and these things that you want to do because it shows them that they'll be able to do that too.

And as you said, there were passion, right. Again, just as, as we use our gifts was we use our gifts. We're just, we're better in all aspects of life, right. As we feel our gifts and fill our kind of those, those deeper driving needs and desires and wishes, you know, whether whatever those gifts are that we've been given to, you know, put out into the world in whatever aspect. Um, again, you know, as I said earlier, just how much joy that brings me and then how that transcends, just have the dinner table at night and, uh, in all areas,.

How do you feel that your career, um, has impacted your

family? That's a beautiful question. Um, I really think back to, um, we attend a little bit earlier, again, inspiring my kids. And again, just showing them just the possibility I would say, showing them really when you pursue something that you love and all of, just all of the graces and the gifts that come out of that at the same time, there's hard work, right?

There's hard work that goes into it, but it's all worth it. And, you know, back to love when you love what you do and you're able to raise a family on it and create an income on it. I would say also, um, also a relationships with money are challenging. I think for most people, but back to like, it's okay to make money. Right. It's okay to make a good income.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to make a good income. It's nothing wrong with charging well for your services in your time. And then with that, yes. Save and plan, but it's okay to use your money to enjoy some things, you know, to go on a vacation or, Hey, there's something you really, you really like, it's okay to spend your money as well. So lots of conversations that have come around, um, just money in general with money.

And I don't think that's something parents talk about actually with each other, you know, that relationship with money. I know as I started my own business, I needed to actually sit down and really think about what are my paradigms around money. And I really had to sit like, what, what were my thoughts about receiving money and why?

Likewise. And then I would even take that into, um, you know, as I look at the patients I treat. So, um, you know, as they pay me for services and, and sometimes, sometimes it becomes a really a lot of money, but as we look at, right, all right, I've helped them with their quality of life. And then where are they going to take those gifts? So how did, as I, again, you know, that, and I I've read so many books on money relationships, you know, whether it's money physically or, you know, it's, it's receiving and giving whether it is money or energy or time or gifts, right.

Like it is an exchange it's giving and receiving it's this back and forth, give and receive. So, you know, as they pay me for what I give them, you know, kind of that mutual exchange, um, you know, where they take that, you know, where they go with the gifts that I shared with them until, you know, that next person, the next person. So it's really helped me to look at kind of like that big picture of, as I put those gifts back out into them where they go with that even. So, um, but I would love to sink back into, you know, as you mentioned your own issues, and I was thinking a little bit earlier, um, how we all have our own issues.

Right. And what I've I, so, you know, working my issue through money, um, a little bit earlier, I was thinking of, um, imposter syndrome, Lisa.

Oh yeah. That's.

Big goodness gracious. Right. All of these and how, um, it, all of it's unavoidable. Right. It, it just, it just, it comes with the territory. But I think to what, um, I mean, all of this, right? Like, as I have learned so much about myself, Lisa, you know, back to your question of how has this impacted your boys? Like, so gosh, life lessons every day, and there's some days I'm like, how many more lessons do I need to learn, but they're all great. And they're all wonderful. Are they easy? Not at all.

But, but back to at the end of the day, like, all right, I, you know, learning, you know, my beliefs and who I am and trusting and believing in who I am, as I put this work out there, I mean, you know, back to money, who am I, am I worth it is the time worth it. You know, we become our biggest critics and we are the ones who get in our way.

Yeah. I agree. I agree. And going back to what you said too, I mean, this whole journey for us starting a business, but you know, whether it's going to a new career or whatever you decide to do, you know, I, I feel like I've learned so much about myself, you know, in the process like working through those barriers that I was holding up for myself. Like I'm not good enough. Oh, that therapist is much better than I am. Like, why would you, why see me go see them? They're amazing. Right.

Um, but really I learned so much about myself and now I have so much more confidence in who I am, what I do, what I stand for, but it, it was through this business of me, uh, is almost through this journey of opening my own business. Did I actually find that out about myself?

Absolutely. And, and the things that come your way or that patient who didn't like what you did or that patient who says, oh, you charge too much. So very easy to, you know, take that personally. So, you know, each, each thing that would come your way as I would kind of wrestle with it and look at it and explore it and figure out, all right, what do I do with that? Right. Learning all these, you know, how you deal with people, how you deal with customers, how you deal with all of those pieces. Um, you know, you won't please, everybody, everyone's going to have an opinion, but at the end of the day, you know, who are you?

You know, what do you stand for? You know, your integrity. You do things with love. Again, just, just being true to yourself. So that's probably something I've really just honed it.

I mean, still amazing student of the school of hard knocks, you know, just, just not, not letting some of those things derail me or very quickly send me into the downward spiral of, you know, Jen, what are you doing? Who do you think you are trying to run this practice and you want to grow it and you want to take it, take it bigger. Like, oh no, no, stop that stop that that's, that's not, that's not the voice of love, or that's not the voice of, you know, inspiration, like whose voice is that, you know, that whole negative kind of inner bully case that, um, sometimes doesn't take much to tip it quickly, but again, over time, right.

Resilience, you know, learning so much about ourselves and the resilience that we create in ourselves. Right. Keep going forward.

Yeah. And, and Jen, I'm here to tell you, you are incredible. So yeah. You have to call it the other mom, friends. I say that you are, you have inspired so many people, um, not only the people you treat and, you know, help along the way, but your friends, myself, um, you know, and I think we need more of that in our mom world to know that, you know, you can do these things and just get your tribe around you to help inspire you.

And they're around you and they're out there. And if they're not, then you go on our real life, moms home, uh, Facebook group and we will be your tribe. So yeah, we need these people around to encourage us. Cause it's so important. I for one would never have opened my own practice without you,

Lisa, Thank you. Thank you. I am thrilled and humbled and honored, and there is this little voice inside, like really me. Right.

Really, really. Yeah. It is a true statement, not lying. And I know that I can get a lot of people to say that about you too.

I know. I know. I'm so grateful. And, and you know, and I was just thinking today, I do, I need to hang up, like just, you know, your, your, your kudos. Like when you get that text, you get those messages, like, all right, hang on to those, write those down for when you have those rough days where like, man, I should just go work in a coffee shop because what I'm thinking. Cause I still have those days, which I think, I think that we all do, but then all right, you know, Hey yes, look at, look at how far you've come look at the work that you do know. It's not easy work every day, but you keep going.

Um, is there anything else you would like parents to know about,.

Um, gifts, right? We all, every single one of us have gifts, right. And gifts, different gifts at different times. And um, you know, maybe a gift is right now spending more time at home with babies, right. But there's this little nugget or this little niggle and maybe not, it's not the time to act on it, but knowing that it's there, right. You know, how do you foster that, that little, that curiosity that maybe shows up five years, 10 years later. But, um, as we, as we honor our, our gifts, like we just, we shine brighter. We shine brighter for ourselves.

We shine brighter for our kids, our families, and we shine brighter for the world.

Oh, I love that. That's perfectly said, well, Jim, thank you so much for being on the show. You, your gifts inspires so many people, including myself. And I just love that. I love what you do. And I am so thankful that you came and talked to everybody today.

Thank you. It was my pleasure and what a gift to me to be able to share. So thank you, Lisa.

Thank you for listening to today's episode hearing Jen’s story of following her passion and making it a career is inspiring. Remember, you can achieve your goals to just get your tribe around you and take that one step forward. Even when it's scary. We'd love to hear more about the goals you have set for yourself this year. So come visit us on our Real Life Momz. Facebook group, and share your stories, and don't forget to follow Real Life Momz. So you don't miss an episode.