Embrace Self-Love and Wellness with Kim Mosiman

Welcome back to the Real Life Momz podcast. This is a place where we can take a break from all our to dos and take time to focus on ourselves. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and today I'm here with Kim Mosiman. She is a personal trainer, nutritionist, life coach, and author, and she is here to help us learn to love our wonderful, beautiful selves, no matter what we look like.

So thank you, Kim, for coming to the show. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm happy to have you. And thank you first for sending your book to me. You have a great book out called Reflections of Joy, which we'll hit upon. But first I just want to hear a little bit more about you. You had a transition that's so interesting because you had this career, really focused around fitness, helping other people reach their fitness goals.

And then what happened is like life changed, right? And midlife hits [00:01:00] and your body changes. And now we have to kind of think differently and kind of reevaluate. So maybe you could tell us a little bit about how that played out and just kind of what that transition. I started out, I had kids, my body wasn't the way I wanted it to be.

And I, Went through, a challenge at a gym very similar to the one I eventually opened. And, it was a struggle then, but I was young, you know, in my 30s. And, my body responded very quickly, which was incredible. Caught the fitness bug and opened a gym,

and it was just a really awesome place. And I, achieved a level of fitness that I had not had as an adult and everything just seemed so easy. But then sometimes I worked such long hours during the day that I didn't work out, but my pedometer would still show, , 12, 000 steps whatever.

And so I was kind of like, Fit by [00:02:00] default, if you will, my job was keeping me fit I just, I had a seven really awesome years working with people, but then my husband's job slowed down and he was going on some trips during the winter and we live in the Midwest, so it gets very cold and I'm here in the snow and he's in Arizona or in Florida.

And I thought, well, this isn't fair. So we made the decision to close the gym so that I could travel with him. And I feel very fortunate that I could do that. But at that moment in time, . It was a huge change. The kids were in college. I didn't have a job. I wasn't coaching.

And all of a sudden I felt like this huge loss and this huge lack of purpose. And I started sleeping in and skipping workouts and, maybe ordering pizza more often than, had before. And we were traveling. And so, you know, there's always, you can eat well if you stop at a convenience store, but sometimes that's not the way you want to eat.

If you're on road [00:03:00] trip. And so anyway, I just, after about a year, year and a half my body had changed and, I wasn't feeling good about myself and I really had become my client. I was experiencing all the same things that my clients had, when I'm like, oh, you can do anything, you could do anything, all of a sudden when I was in that position, maybe it wasn't so easy. Yeah, it's sometimes easier to be, the cheerleader, the doctor, the therapist, than the client or the patient, right? Like where it's really hard to take our own advice. It is. Yes. And I love how you say it's like when we're younger.

Things fall off fast, I mean I can walk around and get those steps in and my body like kind of can keep up, but as I get older, oh my goodness, like I look at my body now and I'm like, ooh, mom bod, like I have mom bod, and not only do I have Mom bod. I have my mom's bod. Like, I just see it. And I'm like, how did that [00:04:00] happen?

And it's, hard to know what to do because I don't think the same things work later in life that worked. Back then. And I know that's a big area that you're focusing on now. So yeah, tell us a little bit about that. A lot of things change, you know, there was a time in my life where I could just change my diet.

Where I could just cut calories or cut a food group and drop a ton of, ton of weight, not that it was the right answer, but I could do it. There was a time in my life where I could eat however I wanted or maybe have several glasses of wine,, throughout the week. And as long as I exercised and I, I burned a lot of calories, my body would respond.

, as I got older, My body doesn't recover as quickly, so I've changed my exercise, because I was hurting, I was trying to do things and it seemed like I was always wrapping a nice bandage around or, sitting out for a period of time

same with food, I'd cut a food group or I'd [00:05:00] think, I'm going to fast or I'm going to do a cleanse or some sort of juice thing. And my body didn't like it. And I feel like I just kind of got in this spiral where I was either, exercising to earn my food or I was dieting because it couldn't exercise.

And life was really pretty crummy. I just kind of reached the breaking point where I wasn't doing anything. And then, I was journaling one morning and I flipped the page and there's, some scripture at the top of the page and Song of Solomon.

And it says, I'm going to paraphrase here, but you are wonderful. There is no flaw in you, essentially, and I just started to cry. That was kind of like my breaking point because I had reached a point where I didn't even look in the mirror and I didn't want to go outside, but I wasn't so unhappy that I was doing anything about it, and so had a long sit down, talk with myself and just started adding some things in that, that made me happy.

I started walking, walking didn't hurt. And, I'd walk as far as I could. [00:06:00] And then the next day I'd walk a little farther and. And, I know it sounds very simplistic, but it's like I hit 50 and I just, had a change of heart, I suppose. And I just decided I was no longer going to do things that didn't bring me joy or pleasure and I wasn't going to eat food that didn't taste good.

So yeah, it was a big change, big change for me. And I feel like 50 for me as well, differently. But. It's kind of that time period where you've been around the block long enough that like you don't want to do the things that don't make you happy, you know better that we don't have to do those things and just suck it up anymore.

So yeah, I was a big runner forever. And then, I just love walking. And yeah, I'll see people do races and running and things like that. And I'm like, you know. I love walking like I can walk forever. It doesn't get me out of breath. I don't have to motivate myself to go do it like it's [00:07:00] enjoyable.

, and when you enjoy something, you're going to do it right. And so I love that, things that we like doing. Yeah, that's important. Now, I feel like there is a component of this like mindset, though, right? How do we really recognize the beauty within us without what's really in front of us? Just going to be honest. I hate that phrase. Oh, it's beautiful on the inside is on the outside, right? Because we're all beautiful on the inside and the outside.

For me, it started with really truly looking on the outside. And maybe I wasn't happy with my fanny. And maybe I wasn't happy with my double chin, whatever it was, but I used to run restaurants before I had the gym. I always did this thing called Wells and Bettors. And there's a chapter in my book called Reflections, where I really ask the reader to look at themselves.

Because as you look in the mirror, there might be something that reminds you of your mom, right? Or something that you think, oh my [00:08:00] gosh, I have to work on this. And we all know spot reducing doesn't really work, right? But, But you can also look in the mirror and see that beautiful smile and you can see your bright eyes and, and it doesn't make your fanny any smaller but when we look at ourselves the way others would look at us, the way our spouses or our friends or our parents, you know, the way your mother looks at you, she looks at you and she thinks you're beautiful every time she sees you.

And when you start doing that, and the more you start telling yourself those things, The more your heart starts to change and the more the inside really does learn to appreciate the good. Now I may be 50 and my body may not work the way it did when I was 30, but I can still get down on the floor and play with my grandkids.

And, I can still work in the yard and, and plant a garden and do all these things. So, like life's not over just because it's not as good as. I love that. Yeah. So I climb up the stairs and I'm like, I'm so glad my knees still work, because people [00:09:00] struggle like doing those simple things.

And I am always so glad when I'm like able to physically exactly like you said, go up and down. Get up from the floor and not have an issue because yeah, I see it around me with friends and Family even that it's harder. So I do love that you also I have I didn't finish your book yet I'm in the process, but I do love that you do point out Kind of having a different perspective of looking at things So not just saying like I can't have I can't do I can't this but what can I have what can I do?

and having that just shift in the wording and the mindset, I think that's really important. When I ran the gym, there was a nutrition component in our challenge. So we do a nine week challenge. People would come in, take a picture, really like try to change everything in life, take a picture at the end, and then there was a winner.

And so many people focused on I can't have this for nine weeks, or I [00:10:00] can't do this for nine weeks, or I can't go on vacation, or I can't have ice cream, or I can't have birthday cake, or whatever the case may be. Well, the, the fact is, is that for me, I can have it, right, but, but I can also eat. The majority of my meals, protein, a fat and a carb, it doesn't mean it has to be the same meal all the time.

I'm still eating like this time of year, I live in the Midwest, this time of year, the produce is incredible. Get to eat this wonderful food, right? And, , I think if people open up their minds and experiment with their food and maybe, Play around with cooking and just make it enjoyable. I get to go for a walk because it's gorgeous today.

Somehow the Lord is shining on Iowa and it's 65 degrees in the middle of August, which is unheard of, right? So like this morning, how amazing is this? I get to walk , and I'm not even like sweaty, sticky, gross. It's so much a mindset. [00:11:00] And that's why I talk about crowding it out in every chapter, in every different topic and the way I live my life.

I try to look at what little bit of good I can drop in. That might nudge out something that's not, it's not that it's bad, but maybe it's not going to bring on the change that I want to make today. You know what I mean? Yeah. Mindset makes such a difference in everything we do. I like to say changing the channel when there's like a little negative thing that I'm looking at and like, Oh, I'm just going to change the channel just a little bit and see it in a different light. Because it does, it does change things. Now, I know you have some simple strategies that people can start implementing.

, what would you say would be these first steps to implement into your life? Well, if we're talking about. Save your diet. I really encourage people just to take baby steps. So in the book, we, I have, if you've got one minute, you've got five minutes, if you've got 10 minutes, whatever it [00:12:00] is.

But for me, um, a little step might be, I'm going to eat five vegetables today. Doesn't mean I have to eat them all in one meal or have to do anything, but I'm going to work or maybe, maybe I'm going to eat 20 vegetables this week, right? So I can get them whenever I want to. That doesn't sound like a little step, but,

I can have the vegetables, but I can still have a slice of pizza. So , maybe if my diet is really crummy, I add a salad in and still have my pizza if it's exercise and, and you haven't exercised in a long time, or.

Maybe you've gained enough weight that you feel embarrassed going to the gym, right? Because that's a huge thing for some people. I have to get ready before I can go. And so, so maybe you just start that walk. Nobody said if you're going to walk for exercise, you have to Walk 10, 000 steps, right? I mean, like walk down the block and come back again.

If you feel good, do it again maybe tomorrow you walk around the block [00:13:00] instead of just to the end of the street. I just really feel like wherever we are in life and whatever change we want to make, if we just add in a little bit of good. , I studied at the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and they made a big point of saying, one percent better, right?

Well, just those little teeny tiny steps make all the difference it doesn't even take very long for you to start seeing it. And. I like even in the book I think you give the example of like if you like a glass of wine right to you can have a glass of wine, but have water after instead of that second glass of wine I love that example of just making like a small little shift, instead of like having to give something.

Or one of my good friends had a huge soda problem, not soda problem. She had a huge soda habit when she first met me. Right. And she, I seriously drank 12 cans of soda a day, and the soda that she chose, highly caffeinated, highly sugared, right? And for her just to [00:14:00] up and quit it, she couldn't have done it.

She would've been plagued with headaches and, who knows what her body would have done because she'd had this habit for many years. So we just worked on taking out one, right? We have 12 today, well maybe next week we pick the one, you know that one that you drink? Coffee's that way for me too.

Like the coffee that you drink that you don't really taste because you're busy doing other things. Take out the one, celebrate the 11, right, because it's 11, not 12, and then next week take out another one, and just keep working yourself down, and then, then, if you have a soda, so what, but, you can't beat yourself up, but you also can't, if you want to make changes in your life, you have to change something. So yeah, so you do have to change. Yeah, something. So I love that example of just knocking one at a time down. , I'm going to go back to a little bit of this mindset because, health in general, isn't just what's like right on [00:15:00] the scale. It's, it's really this overall.

mental, physical, emotional health. So for people who are working on kind of changing, how do we embrace kind of our new self, especially as we're aging or even a mom who just had a baby, like every, it's different. Like how do we really get to embrace that whole Mindset to be really healthy, no matter what we're seeing so for me, the whole thing, it is emotional, it is spiritual, it's, it's physical. I want to be the best person I can be for my husband, for my sons, for my grandsons, for my whole family, for my friends. I want to be able to engage. And so often when we feel crummy about ourselves, we isolate ourselves. And, we start turning down the invitations and doing things again, baby steps, right?

But embracing for me meant calling a girlfriend and saying, Hey, we go for a walk. I need to exercise. I'm going to [00:16:00] enjoy it more if I'm talking to you. And we just have to start doing the things that make us feel good. Wake up and I don't necessarily want to exercise, but I've never completed a workout and thought, Oh, that was terrible.

You know, I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have, whatever. So for me, embracing it all, I don't know, I have to put myself in a positive mindset, go do it anyway. But then that positivity. It's kinda like snowball rolling down the hill, right? I mean, it just grows and grows and grows. And then pretty soon you do look in the mirror and you notice,

, my skin looks good. I'm sleeping better, my hair looks good. And if we do the little things, the little sacrifices. And we talked kindly to ourselves, all of a sudden that that whole big mindset isn't a chore anymore. But that was the hardest thing when I owned the gym, because People don't remember, and they don't see what I could see.

So, someone would come in and not feel good about themselves, and [00:17:00] they were solely focused on the scale. And if the scale didn't move, it would shoot their whole week, right? And after a couple of weeks, then all of a sudden, it's not worth it. I gave up all of the fun food, and I worked out really hard, and I drank my water, and I did all the things, and the scale didn't move.

But what did happen is they probably slept better and their jeans probably fit better, but they're just not noticing. And they didn't fight with their kids, because they're just in a better mood all the time. So that's that, again, that's why I just am a big fan of, of really looking at yourself and really looking at yourself every day.

What did I do? Well, what could I do better? What do I love about myself? As your body gets better, your head gets better, but you got to use your, your messed up head to force your body to do it.

It's just all, it just all starts in motion. And once it's going and once it's rolling, it's such a beautiful thing. Right. It's a cycle. Like everything affects everything. Like I was just listening to some sleep studies, right? And people who are in [00:18:00] pain apparently have poor sleep. However, sleep can actually reduce pain just by getting the rest and replenishment that you need.

But it's like this cycle. So if you can sleep, then your pain is less. If your pain is less, then you sleep better, right? It just keeps going around in like a circle. Similarly to what you're saying. And yeah, , you don't feel good to actually have the mindset to maybe go to that gym or go for a walk, but if you did it, then you would feel better.

To have the mindset to then do, you know, it's like this, it just grows on, right? Snowballs on each other. So that makes so much sense. And I think we also forget about, the bigger picture, right? What's happening to our blood pressure and our heart especially as we're aging, right?

The skin can tell us a lot. Like if our skin is starting to clear up that that's a, that's an organ that's actually. Improving. So things that we can't see, right? [00:19:00] How much is that improving? Even if the scale, it hasn't moved at all. Like we may have increased our lifespan by a week, a month, a year or two, who knows, or at least our quality of life too, like that we can get up and down from the floor.

So, yeah, so it's, it's so much more than, , what we're seeing. And I think that shift in the mindset of., Yes, making ourselves look better, great, that's a bonus. However, making ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally healthier is probably really the win in this situation. And it happens so quickly.

I, the one example that I would offer you is, well, two, I'll give you two. I had an 80 year old woman come and join my program. And this lady was pretty spunky and spry, you know, and she thought, I'm going to do this.

But she took several blood pressure medicines. And after just three weeks of, focusing a little bit on her [00:20:00] food because she hadn't been eating much and she started really trying to eat more. Balanced meals. And then she was moving her body every day. And three weeks into class, all of a sudden she's like, I caught her and she's kind of doing one of these dizzy things, you know, Well, we had a cuff there.

Her blood pressure was so much better and it was so low because she was actually over medicated in just three weeks time. She had improved that much. The other example I would give is, we'd have people come in who had started on medication or were on watch for diabetes. And in a very short period of time, four or five weeks of regular exercise and, and 80, 90 percent clean food like not processed food, home cooked food.

And I had three different people go off their medicines with the permission of their doctor. , they were checking things, but our bodies are incredible machines. And if we can [00:21:00] force ourselves, for a short window of time, that snowball starts.

And when it starts, and all of a sudden the medicines are going away and you're sleeping better, and, , all your numbers are, are better, and you know that you're making yourself healthy in every way. That's a huge motivator. And, once you catch the bug, and once you really start feeling better, especially at our age, when we've had the opportunity maybe to feel crummy for a little bit of time.

Yeah. It's a win. It's a win. I mean, it honestly is, is the best win, getting your actual health back without the image of it, you know, because even my husband, he struggles all the time with, wanting to lose weight, whatever, bouncing back and forth. However, He made some lifestyle changes to decrease gluten, decrease dairy.

Apparently, he's allergic to them, so that's a whole other story. However, he doesn't have the joint pain that he was having, and then when he goes back on, because he falls off the wagon, right? [00:22:00] He's like, Oh my God, not only is in pain, but pain equals like moodiness. So you don't show up in a way that you really want to. It changes your personality. And it's funny how you say those things happen quickly because, you know, you think about like trying to get into shape as someone who's maybe middle age and your body just isn't changing as fast as you were when you're twenties.

But those inside things are changing almost just as quickly as when you were younger. So it does affect the blood pressure and just how you're feeling inside. So it is so important because I guess anyone who's going through maybe some of this right now, To know that really reflect back on how you actually physically emotionally feel because that is also a change, not just the number.

Yeah, absolutely. Your brain is your inside too, and in a world where we live with so much anxiety and depression and, feelings of shame, like you were talking about your [00:23:00] husband, like, so he knows he feels good without the gluten in the dairy, and he knows that there's, there's a physiological reason for that, but yet he's human, so sometimes he's going to eat those things, and then he feels crummy physically, but then when his mood changes, Then he starts beating himself up because he's like, well, gosh, darn it.

I know what the problem is. Why can't I just be strong? Right. And so I think it's important when we have those allergies or when we're trying to take things out of our life that we try to substitute something that is equally pleasurable for us. And I have some issues with dairy as well. And some of my favorite things, dairy, but I've just had to try different things that bring me pleasure. But It's just the whole rollercoaster once your body starts feeling better and you get off this medications and in your you're able to do things, even if it just means, , walking around the block or maybe.

Accomplishing a whole 5k, [00:24:00] whether you walk it or you run it or whatever, that's a huge achievement. And so then psychologically, you're thinking, Oh, I can do good things. And I can do hard things. And I think it should keep people moving forward.

Yeah. Tell us a little bit about your book and also where listeners can find you. Reflections of joy, learning to love the woman you see while becoming the one you're meant to be started out as, um, a how to book. I thought when I closed the gym, I would write a manual and we'd continue to help the world do the good things we had.

We did when we had the gym. And then this thing happened with me and I kind of fell out of sorts and I had to find a way back to good health and feeling good about myself. And so I just wrote a book about my journey back to loving myself again and all the different things that brought me joy again.

And it's not just food and it's not just exercise, it's my faith and it's habits and it's getting out in community again. And really trying some fun things. experimenting. So I ran restaurants for a period of [00:25:00] life. I ran a gym for a period of life. And now I'm an author and I'm a first time author at 57.

And, I think it's important to continue to grow and explore and do the things. And so that's where Reflections of Joy came. And it's available everywhere, books are sold online and I blog and I coach and that's all, I'm all things Kim Mosiman, so it's kimmoseman. com and Kim Moseman on Facebook and Kim Moseman on Instagram.

One because I'm 57 and it's too hard to keep track of all the different accounts, so I'm just. Kim. That's perfect. That's consistent. People will know where to find you., what do you want to tell a mom that might be looking at themselves in the mirror and not fully embracing their beauty?

I would tell her that she's worth the effort. And I know that when your kids are home, it's hard. It's hard to find the time. And sometimes you, I had to sneak it in at five o'clock in the morning because it's My boy's [00:26:00] schedule demanded something different of me, but you're worth the time and you're worth the effort and Life is so good when you take care of yourself and that you know It doesn't mean you have to look a certain way but it's really cool when you can feel a certain way and that's strong and beautiful and worthy and Happy and so I would encourage moms everywhere to to find those nuggets of time five minutes, take a walk, 10 minutes, meditate, , hide in the bathroom so the kids can't find you just to like take some deep breaths and give yourself some sort of love in, in those crazy moments.

They're all worth it, right? I mean, they're all worth it, but sometimes you get stuck in the middle and you're taking care of everybody but yourself. And it's hard to keep going like that. And just going back to doing that, like just one thing, if you, maybe you can't do it every day, but maybe.

You start with one day, and then you can add in more days that you can do it [00:27:00] and just add a little bit at a time so that it doesn't seem so overwhelming. And I think part of us also, sometimes we feel like we failed if we didn't meet that goal of ours to walk every day. I took advantage when my kids were.

young or even when they were in middle school and I had to be the, you know, I had to go pick them up. I just go a little bit early and , grab a girlfriend and walk around the football field. It's so much easier when you latch onto a friend or another mom that's doing what you're doing, but, So many of us are so tired that we'd rather grab a cup of coffee and sometimes a glass of wine and sit and chat than move our bodies. And I would just say, you know, once a week, at least once a week, um, try to do that thing that's good for your body yeah, well, thank you, Kim, for coming on the show and chatting with us and sharing just your story and just some of your insights that [00:28:00] you've learned along the way. Thank you.

Thank you for joining us for this episode. If you want to learn more about Kim and her book, reflections of joy, just click on the link in the show notes.

And Real Life Moms will be back with new episodes in two weeks. We will be starting season seven

with more amazing moms to help guide us along in prioritizing time for ourselves. So take the next two weeks to catch up on some of those old episodes you missed, and we will see you back for Season 7, starting September 3rd.