Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of College Transitions

Welcome to the Real Life Momz Podcast. This is a place where you can take a break from all your to do's and take time to focus on yourself. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and I am so excited that we are starting season seven. I can't believe we've had Over 145 episodes. And I cannot believe that we are now in over 55 countries.

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So now as we're starting to hit September, we're hitting that back to school season. And this can be just an overwhelming time for any parent.

The other day I get this text from my bestie that says, Oh my goodness, like I feel so bad. I am missing back to [00:01:00] school night. Should I run over now? I just finished a meeting. Should I get there? You know, are you there? And I looked at my family where I was sitting and having dinner and I said, uh, what back to school night?

I don't even know about back to school night, let alone, you know, obviously I'm missing it. Right? And her response was, Oh my God. Love you. I was like, and not only did I not know about it, but did I mention that I have to go watch The Bachelor because I need to see who's going to hometowns and who she's going to pick.

Like I'm so excited about it. So yeah, not going. And I looked at my son and I said, Hey, it was his back to school night. Hey, how do you feel about that? And he was like, I feel fine. And I'm like, great. We feel fine. No guilt. That you're okay. And she's just said her response was love you. Yeah, you always [00:02:00] need a friend in your corner when you're feeling badly about some of those things that just pop up out of your control or you didn't know.

Now granted, I'm a little distracted because I just dropped my daughter off at college. So I'm in this transition of not only summer and school starting, but also Dropping my eldest at college. And this is a big, big thing for parents, right? Like, I feel like this is what we wait for, right?

One day our kid is going to be an adult and they are going to leave our home. And we have now checked the box of like, we did it. Whether your child is going to college, going into the workforce or wherever, right? . At that point where they turn 18, And it's now time to transition from your home to elsewhere.

That is a big [00:03:00] thing for us, and we do need to sit and have a moment about how we feel. I have moms texting me like, Hey, how did drop off go? We're getting ready. How are you feeling? And what is your advice? Honestly, my advice when dropping off a kid at college is one, bring your own dolly or something to lift those heavy boxes, because nobody's helping you.

And if you're waiting for one of those big things to carry all your stuff in that everyone else is waiting You will never move in till probably a week later because you'll be waiting forever. So bring your own dolly and bring some water and snacks because you know, nobody needs to be hangry when moving and lifting things.

So that would be my honestly advice because that is the only thing we can prepare ourselves for. There's nothing to prepare you for. dropping off your child and leaving them. Nothing, nothing. We can say [00:04:00] there is, and maybe we've even gone through therapy to deal with that transition.

But the day you need to literally leave your child somewhere else is a difficult day, no matter how much you've planned for it.

The hope is that we've equipped it, our kids with the tools that they need to survive, and I'm going to put air quotes here in the real world, because if you're going to college.

I don't know if that's fully the real world, but it is a step into the real world. other kids may be headed into that real world. And that is our hope. We have taught them. We've given them those building blocks that they need to survive.

And let me tell you, drop off, yes, was very tearful. There was lots of tears, lots of hugging, lots of crying. A lot more from my husband than most. He holds a lot of the emotion in our family, which is why we love him so much. But yeah, like there were, it was tearful. It was hard.

[00:05:00] And I'm going to be honest. Those first 72 hours were not easy. for my child. No, she felt lonely. Her roommate that she had been talking to for months, preparing, getting excited together.

The day of actually made it all the way to college and couldn't do it. She just wasn't ready and that's okay. But my daughter now needed to learn how to deal with being alone in a new place without someone she thought she was going to be able to lean on.

So that was lesson number one. That did not go so smooth. Number two, for us, my daughter was extremely ill. She needed to learn how to get medical help, where it was located, how she was going to get there and get on antibiotics.

And did she do it? Yeah, she did. [00:06:00] You know what? She rose to the occasion. And what I say to that, and we have to do this more of, is that a boy? Mama. Because at the end of the day, she had those skills because she learned them from us. So yes, let's give ourselves a tap on the back when things were getting heated, when emotions were high, you know, we need to sit back in ourselves and prioritize our own feelings about the situation and be able to support,

which is not easy in the moment. It is true. Like when our kids are happy, gosh, we feel good. We are excited. But when our kids are struggling, it weighs on us too. And we have to remember that isn't ours to always carry. Sometimes it's okay to be there, listen, and not always have to feel like we have to solve every problem.

And at the end of the [00:07:00] day, what came out of this was my daughter actually learning that she could change. Take care of herself. When they live in our home, they don't really know that. Her biggest fear was like, Oh my gosh, if I get sick, how do I take care of myself?

You guys are always there. And yeah, as much as that is lovely to have somebody there when you're ill. To know that you can do it is a gift. And she just happened to learn it in the first 72 hours of being away from home. Confidence to know that she could take care of herself and I could have never taught her that while she was living at home, and she now knows that she's capable. And honestly, that's priceless.

Our kids grow up so fast. It's so true. It's, it's literally a blink of an eye, although the process feels very long and hard sometimes, but it is, it's so quick. And, for those that are going [00:08:00] through this right now, dropping their kids off, their kids are leaving the house, or maybe it's happening in the next few years.

And, and you're already starting to think and process this. My advice to you is enjoy the ride. We hear this all the time. Enjoy the ride. It's so hard to do because there are so many bumps and turns and twists and things that are unexpected. But you know what? That's life. That is just life.

We are always going to have challenges. There are always going to be disagreements. Did you finish your college essay? Did you even apply? Things like that, but you know what, they're going to get that stuff done. But what's really.

Actually, the important piece that we forget about is to have fun, make memories, build bonds, because that's what's going to continue into life. [00:09:00] Those little arguments about, did you do your essays? Those are just a blink in time that is going to be totally forgotten.

But having those memories and. Fun and bonding and communication is what is going to last a lifetime and is important in the building blocks when sending your kids away.

So when it's that time that your child's ready to fly that nest, leave the house, whether that's going to college or on another adventure, Just remember, it's just goodnight. It's not goodbye.

Be sure to tune in next week as we will be joined by another incredible mom with another incredible conversation. And don't forget to click on the link in the show notes and visit our website, RealLifeMomz.Com, where you can binge watch some of our previous episodes, enjoy a mom's calming corner so that you can reground yourself, and read some of our incredible blog posts.

We have so many [00:10:00] resources on our website

that you can enjoy, and that will help you prioritize yourself.