Honoring Our Bodies Through Change with Freyja Troop

Welcome to the Real Life Momz podcast. It is time to take a break from all our to do's and carve out this time to focus on yourself. I'm Lisa Foster, your host. And today I'm here with fellow mom, Freyja Troop. She was featured in our very first season of the Real Life Momz and she is an old friend of mine.

So I'm so glad to have her back on the show. So that we can discuss our changing bodies and how to embrace our new selves. Hi, Freyja, welcome back to the show. This is great. You've done so well. I'm so excited to be back. Thank you. I know. It's like three years in and you were in like season one episode. I don't know, three or four.

You were like up there, right? It was great. I was when we first started. Yes. And didn't know how to get kids to do their chores. Yes. How to get kids to do their chores. And we had no idea what we were doing. So this is so great. Now I've been here for a while. But I'm excited to have you because [00:01:00] you have a story that I know is really relatable to a lot of moms and a lot of listeners out there about just us, you know, changing as we get older and the things that we used to be doing that were really part of us start to become a little harder.

So I can explain your story a little bit. I'm gonna butcher it. So I'm just going to ask you just to kind of tell us a little bit about what you've been experiencing yeah. So , Lisa and I have, uh, talked about this a lot, but, , we're both runners.

Well, back in the day, We've both run marathons and, I completely love, , running and I still do today. So what's changing for me, in my running world is that I can't run the way I used to, and it's because of going through perimenopause and it's been a real struggle, Going through that stage and fighting myself and and that's what I want to talk about today is that that process of, everything going great in and running in life [00:02:00] and then you have these changes that happen to you that you can't control and you're fighting it.

And, learning about how to stop fighting it and working with it and, but still having harmony in that you're still doing something you love, but knowing that you've got, now you have limits to that and, and to make everything work. You've got to make some adjustments so that that's the journey that we're going to talk about today.

Yeah, and I love that so much. I mean, I remember back in the day. Yeah, so when I used to run, and I say used to, because you still run. Okay, your husband is like this three time Olympian, right? Runner. So in your family, it is a big part of your family where what we're missing out here is your kids run, your husband runs, you run.

It's like something you guys really do together. Yes. Me, on the other hand, when I ran my marathons, I remember like doing some races and seeing the walkers, passing them along the way and going, huh, I wonder when I'm going to get to that phase, you [00:03:00] know, and I have hit that phase and I have embraced that phase because yeah, my body just, , won't move like it used to.

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Right. And it's, it's a bit of a shock to the system. So for you, because you still are running, I'm going to put that out there. Some of us are still running and that's good too. But tell us a little bit about how, as you started changing, just how that felt and how did you actually navigate that real struggle that started for you?

Yeah, so I noticed, changes happening to me when I was around 42 and, I've been running since I was about 10 years of age and just casually fun, but I also played other sports as well. So running was sort of a complimentary sport to my other sports. And then when I met my husband Lee, he just come back from, , what we call the Commonwealth games and, he encouraged me to do more running.

[00:04:00] And so then I started to get more serious with running. And that was in my mid twenties. And, from there, you get married, you have kids and they're a priority. And then we moved to the United States. So I'm from Australia. We moved to the United States in 2009 and, , and then, you know, babies, lifestyle, all that comes first.

So I was still running in all that time, but it was , like a back burner, I guess, just to keep fit, keep moving and then, when the twins were about 18 months old was when I really was able to start running properly again and enjoying it and really trying hard , I've always had goals with my running, you know, wanting to hit certain times.

And I thought, okay, now I'm in a period of my life where I can go for those times that I've always wanted to do that I've never been able to quite get there. And so I really concentrated on running. And that was when I was about 36. So, you know, that's quite late really, um, for, for someone [00:05:00] trying to hit personal bests

later in life, but anyway, and, and that went great. So from about, 36 to 42, I had this great patch of running and loved it. Had a running group was running well, just getting better and better. Everything was going great. And then when I was turning 40, some of my running friends were like, Hey, you should run a marathon now I'd run a marathon before one before, but I'd never run another one again.

And so I thought, sure. Yeah. For my 40th birthday, I'm going to run. Uh, personal record and it's going to be great and, and thankfully that's what happened. Everything was great. I ran my personal best, in Eugene and had a great time. And I'm thinking, you know, things can't get better. So working full time, kids are great, husband's great, running's great, everything's amazing.

And then, about two years later, I had the bug again to run another marathon and [00:06:00] so I'm training for that, but this time the training was different and, uh, I just noticed that I wasn't hitting, hitting my, my gold times as, as what I would normally do in my training. And I just noticed I started struggling and I've had iron deficiencies before in the past.

And so I was like, well maybe I'm a little bit iron deficient, you know, I'm a bit slow, bit sluggish, finding it hard to breathe. But I just kept pushing through and I thought, all right, I'll, Go to the doctors, get a blood test done. And sure enough, everything's fine. I have perfect blood work. I have nothing wrong with me.

And then it starts messing with my head and I'm thinking, well, there's something wrong because I can tell there's something wrong with me. But, you know, at the time I was around 41, 42. So then I put it in the back of my head, like, okay, it's. There's nothing wrong with me medically. I've just got to keep pushing through.

And so then I ran the marathon and my goal was to beat my [00:07:00] Eugene marathon time. And I, I was off by about 15 minutes. , and I trained really hard and everything was in place and, but I just didn't hit it and. And then I'm like, there's, there's something wrong, so I go back to the doctor and I'm like, after that race, and I said, there's something wrong with me, I don't know what it is, but you know, can you please check again?

And she's like, well, I've tested everything. You're great. She said, there's only two things that I haven't tested. One is if you're pregnant, or two, if you go starting to go through perimenopause, and then she's like, well, you're a bit young. So. Let's just do both tests and we'll just see. And then she said, obviously the hormone test is not very accurate, but maybe there might be something there.

So I got the results back and then it said , my hormones were showing signs of being in early perimenopause. And so from there,

I started talking to friends like [00:08:00] you, Lisa, like asking you little questions about this stage of life and. And I kept getting told, yes, you're going to slow down. You know, running is not going to be the same. You're going to have aches and pains and you know, the list goes on. And I just thought, well, okay.

That's going to happen, but it's not going to stop me running fast. I'm still going to keep running fast and I still can hit those times. And, and this is the period where I was fighting a lot and, and struggling a lot and just didn't want to accept that my body is telling me to slow down and that I can't hit those, , times and those goals that I used to hit and that year is gone.

The struggle for me in that time is how do I switch my brain off to, to, to be more relaxed and more chilled and to accept that this is where I am today. And. You know, that competitive mind of, I want to stay with that person who's running in front of me. , I used to beat them [00:09:00] running, but now I can't even keep up and trying to change that mindset , is something that it's the next part of the journey that I've struggled with.

First of all, yes, I am so far ahead of you in the menopause.

However, I think it is true. It's that mental game of You know, it's almost like Wanted to achieve or could achieve And now you have to kind of like introduce yourself to a little bit of this different person, right? That you weren't sure you ever even wanted to meet right like it's this new self So it does mess with your brain a little bit And it's a little bit of a sadness of like, Oh, I got to let go of, \ those goals and for you, you are competitive.

Okay, I A little less competitive. Me, my, my goal time was just to make, make it into the marathon before dark, you know, like that was always like, Oh, sun is coming down, let's pick it up because [00:10:00] I don't want to be left in the dark at mile 20. So that was my goal. But still like you have to kind of change your.

Mindset. And you have to kind of introduce yourself to this new, this new self a little bit. And I think you're still going through it, right? You're not like at the end, you're still in this journey. So what are some steps that you've started taking how are you setting these new goals for yourself? Yeah. So I've just basically been readjusting. In my, my goal. So for instance, I'll give you an example. So , I used to run, a half marathon in like under one, one hour, 40 minutes. And then we signed up for a marathon festival down at Huntington beach in California, and, that was a couple of years ago, but my goal was to try and break two hours.

I knew that I would never break 140. That's just out of the question, never going to happen. And so then I'd set myself new goals. So rather than those [00:11:00] PR goals that I used to hit, I'm now setting a goal that I think is reasonable. And, you know, a lot of it comes back to my husband, Lee, coaching, to be honest.

And he's very in tune with when you're training, you know, what is your mileage, like, what are you running per mile? And then that's a really good indication of what you'll probably race like. And so having that drilled into myself for years and years and years helped. And, , I've, seen a therapist for anxiety, which I do have, and that's helped a lot because that helps manage.

So I've, I'm finding this mental struggle. , is a lot of anxiety based, mental struggle. And so then using the techniques that my, therapist would give me to try and overcome anxiety. And you know, I wouldn't say it's high level, it's low level, but it's still there and recognizing it. And then just, you know, with anxiety, you've got to talk to [00:12:00] yourself like, Hey, stop, think about what you're doing.

This, this isn't realistic. Pull it back. reset and go again. And it's just repeat, repeat, repeat consistency, consistency. And then eventually I then trained, I guess, my mind to have a more relaxed approach, to enjoy my running. Cause at the end of the day, at the end of the day, I love running and I enjoy it.

It's very therapeutic for me. It helps me relax. It makes me feel happy. And so I never want to give that up because that, that's my happy place. So in the end, I'm talking to myself, like saying, if you want to keep running, then you've got to make some changes. So you have longevity. And so it's a lot of, self talk, I guess.

Yeah. Which I think with long distance running, I used to do a lot of self talk, which I loved. I loved, you know. But I think that's such a good point, because, right, you're not making those [00:13:00] numbers and times anymore, but really when you really break it down, so like for whatever the thing is, you know, it could be running, it could be anything, right, when you really break it down and it's really that joy That you want to keep doing the thing.

And I think the worry is a little bit like, like for me, like running is really hard now, you know, I don't, and I don't enjoy it. But what I do enjoy is walking and long distance walking. I like to walk for hours. Like I can keep going. And that, that I think is what I loved about running is being outside, just having my mind clear.

And when you get to the core piece of what it is that you loved about the thing that you're doing. Then doing it a little bit differently, but keeping those pieces of why you loved it is really the core of it. And so I think that's how we can kind of transition as our body might not be holding up or changing, to help our mind really come around to say, okay, what are the pieces I loved about doing blank?[00:14:00]

How do I still incorporate those pieces so I can still find the joy in it? Yeah, that's exactly right. And you know, and like you said before, Lisa, I'm still going through it because I'll give you an example last weekend. I do a long run every weekend. I don't go more than 10 kilometers now.

That's my absolute max. I just can't go further than that. My body's like, no, no, thank you. We're not going any further. Um, , but this one day. I wasn't feeling the best when I woke up and I, and I just could tell my body was like struggling. And I said, okay, so I'm going to go for this 10 K run, but I have this feeling that I probably won't even run 10 Ks.

Like my body's just going to be like, nah, 10 Ks isn't, is not happening today. And so go on my run. And then sure enough, I hit six kilometers, which is about four miles. And my body's like, yeah, not, not doing it. And then I'm like, I'll try to push for [00:15:00] one more kilometer, which is not even a mile. And then my body's like, no, done.

And so then I had to walk. So this loop that I did. There's no turning around. I had to keep going. So I walked the last three kilometers, roughly two and a bit miles. But I was okay with that, you know, but old me would have been so mad at myself and probably would have gone and ran the next day to make up for what I'd done.

New to me is like, that's okay. I still did some exercise. I still am out in the fresh air. I enjoyed it. And you know what? It is what it is. And the next week when I go out. In a week's time, hopefully things will be better. And that was yesterday. And I ran my 10 Ks and it was fine.

Didn't stop. Everything was great. But it's about, you know, knowing when your body's saying time to pull it back. And what I'm hearing is once again, listening to the body, which We [00:16:00] don't always do like our mental state and our body aren't always so cohesive So that was really good to listen to our body because as we're aging we do these are signals like pain is Our body's way of talking to us people right like it.

That's how it's gonna communicate So if we're not listening, then there's a bigger issue that's gonna happen later on I thought you might not go out the following week. So that's really good. But But I'm also hearing from you, you went back to your core piece, like, you're like, you know, I'm walking it, but I'm still outside the things that I love about running, I'm still doing and finishing this loop.

So I love that. So that I think that really does help get us to that next level. And I just want to say, real pivotal moment for me was, uh, those marathons that I'd run. And because of my age, I was able to qualify for Boston marathon, which is a lot of people's big dream, right? And it is, it's amazing to be able to, it is an honor to be, to [00:17:00] qualify, to run in a race that, that is such a traditional race.

And so. I was so excited about running in this race, you know, , but then I was going through the same things training wasn't the best. I was really struggling with the training. Lee was coaching me at the time. And he could tell he's like, you know, you're off your game. I'm like, I know. , but you know, I'm still going to push ahead because I really want to do this marathon.

And I still had a little bit of old me in me back then. And this is when I was about 45. Thinking I can do this. I can, you know, I, my goal, I was saying into my, to myself, I'll break four hours. That was my goal. And, and I honestly thought I could do it, you know, even with, with the, with everything going on with the changes.

And so I start the race and straight away. The best way I could describe it is a car with five years. That only had three operating , and I just couldn't get into fourth gear or fifth [00:18:00] gear at all, right from the start of the race. And then I'd hit six miles and I could have walked and stopped and stop the rights.

Like I was so bad. My body was like, no, cannot run. But I was so determined to finish this race and I was like, no, I'm not going to let this beat me. But, so I basically ran. In second year, but for the rest of the race, so for 20 miles, I was running in second year and it was the slowest pace and I ended up running five hours and five minutes.

So it was an hour past my goal time. And I remember thinking to myself during the race, like, even though I enjoyed it with the crowds and the atmosphere. I'm like, why am I pushing myself? Why am I doing this? This isn't fun. You know, it used to be fun when I was running great and running good times and now it's not fun.

So I finished the race. Lee was there at the finish line. He was amazing. he's like, okay, [00:19:00] yeah an hour later, but that's okay. You made it before dark, right? Yes. Made it before dark. And, and that, that race, that was like, okay, I'm not going to do this anymore. I'm not going to commit myself to races that I can't do, and I'm going to scale it back.

I'm going to enjoy it. , but that's the best way I could just can describe the feeling with your body is that it's like a car with five years and some of those gears don't work and the car's still running fine. There's nothing wrong with the car. It's just the gears and it's the system, right? Your whole mind.

It's your body, your system. It just is not running as efficiently as what it used to.

, what would you say to your friend who could not hit that four hour marathon, right? What would you have told them if they came to you yeah, I'd be like, you know, it's okay. Don't, don't get yourself, don't get upset. You finished it. It's amazing. Some people can't even do this.

You know, you're [00:20:00] still in that small percentage of people in the world can't even get to a start line of a marathon and you finished and that's amazing. So be proud of yourself just tell yourself like you would tell a friend and it's so funny how nice we are to other people.

Right? But not to ourselves, right? Like, oh, I did five hours by my, listen, I finished my first marathon. I finished also five hours and it may have been either five minutes. I think it was 505 as well. My first, my first marathon. And, and, and one of the reasons was Because I had written my name on my shirt, you know how they say to write your name on your shirt?

I didn't know what I was doing. I should have like trained with your husband or something And and it was like everybody would like be like go Lisa So I thought I had to literally high five every person. So by mile three I was dying. I was like, oh my god Pull this name off my shirt. Like I cannot be talking to people while i'm trying to run this race.

This is terrible Yes, . , you're exactly right. I love that. Yeah. , and so [00:21:00] today I'm 48 and, the last race I ran was Boulder Boulder last year. So over a year ago, and I don't mind if I don't race anymore.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm happy to just run and enjoy, I just feel like I'm just going to set myself up for failure again, because that competitive streak will come back. Okay. I'll enter the 10 K. Oh, I think I can do it in 60 minutes and, and I'll end up doing it in 80.

And it's, you know, and I, and I think for me being a competitive person, I need to not put myself in that environment. And pull back and just be happy to run and enjoy and, you know, get that mental and physical health benefit that you get. Yeah, which is why you're so healthy and you're checking out in good health, right?

So what is one thing you really want to let a mom that might be going through this just know? Yeah, that's a really good question. I really want people to, take their time, [00:22:00] it's from this journey, it's been six years and I'm still, you know, I'm a lot better than what I was when I was 42.

But take your time in, in adjusting and it's okay. And if you still have those competitive streaks it's okay. And, but don't be so down on yourself if you don't hit the goals that you want to hit. And, accept that your body's changing and it's really, really hard to accept that, but accept it in your own way because you'll get lots of people coming at you like, Oh, you should do this and you should do that.

And you should think this and you should try this and, and it's very overwhelming.

But. One thing I'm doing now is I'm paying more attention to my close friends about, because they're going through it too., And people like yourself, Lisa, and you know, I've got other friends here in Australia that have got, got past, got through the, to the other side. And I find them quite motivating because I'm like, she got through to the other side and she's done amazing [00:23:00] and looks amazing and everything's great.

And so I can do that too, I guess, , the other thing I would suggest is have good people around you and reassess if someone's bringing you down or making it hard for you, should you keep them still in your life or not? Right. So the number one thing is looking after yourself, make making yourself number one.

And as moms, we never do. It's our kids are number one or our husband's number one or our jobs, number one. This is the most important time for us to make ourselves number one and put ourselves first. Yeah, for sure. Well said.

Well, if the listeners want to get in touch with you, where can they find you? Yeah. So you can email me Freya Troop at gmail. com. I'm on LinkedIn as well. So, , you can message me through there. If you've got any questions, happy to help. On the side, I coach running as well. So I'm always happy to help anyone that is [00:24:00] struggling with.

What I'm going through, but still wants to run and, you know, manage both, I can, help in that way too. So they're, they're my two main contact points. . Well, thank you so much for sharing your story, inspiring us to keep going and just have new perspectives as our bodies change. Yeah, that's exactly right.

Thank you, Lisa.

Thank you for joining us for this episode. Freya share her stories and her struggles as her body is changing.

I think the big takeaway today is that you are not alone. There are so many of us navigating this at this moment, whether it's running or something else that you've been going through that is just different than it used to be.

Know that you can set new goals. You can let go of what used to be. You go back to the core reason and the core love for what it is that you used to like to do, and see how you can [00:25:00] incorporate that into who you are now, until next week,

keep putting yourself on top of your to do list and when things get difficult, remind yourself, what would you tell your friend to do in that situation? We'll catch you next Tuesday for another incredible episode with another amazing mom.