Embrace Aging as Your Superpower with Lisa Duffy

Welcome to the Real Life Momz podcast. It is time to take a break from all our to-dos and carve out this time to focus on ourselves. I am Lisa Foster, your host, and today I'm here with another Lisa, which is so fun. Lisa Duffy. She is a fellow mom, founder, formulator of Magnolia Skin Essentials.

And today we are discussing embracing Aging as a. Superpower. So, hi Lisa. Welcome to the show. Lisa. Thank you so much for having me on this wonderful podcast. I love our topic today because I think aging. I think we think of it a lot of is like this time period where we're declining, like we're declining until we get into the end, right?

But that doesn't necessarily have to be so, and I think with that there's a lot of fear. So I love that you consider it a superpower. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that, aging as a superpower. Well, it is [00:01:00] something that I am very excited about because I think that, as we age women, but especially moms, there's this tendency to, let a voice dictate.

Who we are, how we feel, and whether or not we find ourselves valuable. And if you are a mother with young children in particular, you always put your children first. And so, so many things about yourself fall by the wayside, and it's even easier to have negative speak in your head. I think that the voice inside your head is very important. So let's even step back for a second in our twenties, and I am, definitely this person, I was looking at 30, like this big dead end, but what I have found, I'm, I'm now 61 and what I have found is in retrospect, what an amazing time [00:02:00] every single decade is, it's just truly amazing. And, , there are a lot of people who don't have the luxury of living a long life. For whatever their reasons are, , they pass away before they have the opportunity to age.

And so a, I see aging as a luxury and, and something that can be very wonderful. And with that age comes so much experience, so many life lessons learned and so many things that. Have value that are worth passing on to other people, whether it's your children or you , you know, like a podcast or a book or something.

I think those are, are really great gifts that when if, if we're afraid of getting older, we're gonna miss out on, and so that's really where I'm coming from. Love. Every single word of that. And it's so true. Age is, [00:03:00] it's a privilege, right? Because not everyone gets to it. And for me, I think it was 40.

40 was like the, oh my God, right? Nobody wants to be 40. And it's funny 'cause I just watched, I love friends, a huge fan, and I was watching one of their episodes and like how they're turning 40 and now they're like, why me? Right. And it's, and it's true. But I think it's because you think by a certain age you also have to accomplish.

Certain things. Right? Right. And I think that's what also puts the pressure on, , because it's like, if I haven't done those things, I feel a little bit like a failure, so it's like I'm trying to. Make sure I accomplish the things by this age. And then I didn't even create the list of things. It's just what's out in society.

Right. Exactly. And I think that, you touching upon that is exactly what I mean by that self-talk or that that voice that we have in our voice that sort of dictates how we think and what we do. There are so many ways [00:04:00] you can be accomplished in life that don't require a degree or a certain , level, money in bank account. And it's not to say that those things are wrong or bad, 'cause they're not, you know, everybody has a different life to live. Right. Be your best you. And don't worry about what other people think because. Life is such a gift, right? Just live your best life.

It's funny 'cause a story is coming into my mind I went line dancing back in my. Let's say twenties, I don't remember. Maybe it was thirties, right? A few times loved it, but terrible on it. And my friend and I would go and every, you know how everyone knows what they're doing?

And they're like, yeah, you know, if you've ever been line dancing, everybody knows the steps. Everybody knows what they're doing. So if you're new, you're like, floundering everywhere. Well, that was me, but then the guy on the speaker goes. It doesn't matter. Whatever way you're going is the right way. And if, and it just stuck with me because it's so [00:05:00] true.

It's like I'm there, I'm showing up whatever move I choose to make. If I'm going left and everyone's going right, it's my right way, right? It's my personal right way. And I think it's so true in as we progress and age and hit these different milestones, it's like, yeah, live your life. But again, it's your life.

So if everybody's going upstream, it's okay to go downstream. You, you go the direction that is right for you. I think that, everyone has this innate sense of if they're going. In the wrong direction. You know, it's, it's sort of built in. We know when we're not on the right track and, we don't need someone else to tell us that.

I, I think pretty much most of the time. So yeah, listen to yourself and, and do the best you can. I've talked before about, living your best life or just really, feeling good that you lived a good life and, living a good life doesn't mean that you lived a perfect life [00:06:00] because who does that?

Nobody. It just means doing the best you can with what you were given. Now how do we get over the fear? Because there's a lot of fear around aging as well. . Like the other day I saw something and it said something, if you're in your fifties, you have about 26 years left, and you're like, oh my God. Well that does not sound like many, right? And it just starts to like, what do I wanna do? It starts to freak. You freak out. So how do you get around the fear?

That's a great question. I think I would liken it to, similar to when, let's say I have a, a daughter who's in college and, she's struggling, with a certain class and we were on the phone and she was apologizing for not doing well.

And I said, well, are you like skipping class? Are you not studying? If those are the things that you're doing, then yeah, you, you owe me an apology. And if not, if you are giving [00:07:00] it the best you can, that's what the best I can ask of you is just do your best. And to me it's, it's sort of the same way with aging and that fear.

If I'm not taking life seriously, , let's say. Just some, some examples as far as skincare goes, 'cause because I, you know, have a skincare company, if you're laying out in the sun per hours on end, you might be a little apprehensive as getting older because that is definitely going to have an effect.

And I speak from experience because. I'm a California native. I spent tons of time in the sun and I, I felt I was invincible. I thought my skin would always look great, but I have issues from sun damage. So,, it's things like that if you're, if you're wasting your time, doing things that are not important or doing things that

adults don't do, then you, you might have a [00:08:00] reason to be concerned about getting old because yeah, we all only have so much time. But if you are, living your life, especially if you are raising a family, I think I wouldn't fear at all. I would look forward to aging because of those great things that you get the wisdom.

To share because life is hard, and no matter what your state in life, life is hard. And, . We go through some really difficult times. I unfortunately went through a divorce, in my late twenties. I lost three children in miscarriage. And I was told by doctors that I would never have children, I would not be able to conceive.

Yet today I have three beautiful, happy adult children those things came with age, and these stories and the wisdom that I can share because of those things come with age, yeah. Like I couldn't share those stories in my twenties.

It's great to be in your [00:09:00] twenties. It is a great decade. It's very carefree. But, you don't have those things that you do, that you get when you're older. Yeah, I would not go back to my twenties if you paid me millions of dollars. Like I love my fifties. I think it's my favorite decade yet.

We'll see when I get to 60. But it does, you're right. It gets better and better. And I think because like you said, the wisdom of what you've gained, you start to really. Be able to know what's important and what's not. What's a waste of time? , I'm not gonna harp on that, or I don't, you know, if society is saying something, but it doesn't match with my alignment.

I also. It doesn't bother me anymore. So I think learning along the way, and then also, you know, using what you've learned as you grow is also very important. But yeah, I am loving 50. And what I'm hearing from you is really going back to the fear. It's almost like there is no fear when [00:10:00] you've lived a life that you feel is full.

Yes, absolutely. I, I don't know if I could say it any better. I can't say that I haven't been fearful. The best that I can say is , in retrospect, I shouldn't have been fearful that there really was nothing to fear. Because life is good.

You know, there's so many great things about life. I feel like if, if you're a person who can kind of push your way with determination through that struggle, whether it's money or relationship or whatever it is, just push your way through that struggle with hope.

With determination and you will come out the other side with, a lot of strength. A a lot of wisdom. You'll be a better person because of it. And sometimes when you're in those types of struggles, it's like that's all you can see, right? And that's when I think it's nice to [00:11:00] get a, a wider lens of your life, right?

Because what, whatever it is, relationship, money, whatever. It's like you're just stuck on that. But if you have a wider lens, you can really see all the other great things. 'cause you're right, life is good. There are so many good things. Even if there's something that's difficult, even if there's something you're overcoming.

, but if you can widen your lens, you could probably see them and then you could say, oh, you know, I've got this. Yes, it's got me, you know, you could trust it's gonna work out. Yes, absolutely. And I, it's also important, I think too. Tap into the wisdom of people who are older than you. I still do. I mean, um, I'm very grateful.

My mother is still alive and, a couple of my aunts. Um, but, and then I have older friends, and. It's, it's just wonderful to hear their take on something I'm going through or, run something past them and, and get [00:12:00] their, opinion. I, I really value that. Yeah. Yeah, definitely having people to talk, to hear their opinion, and, and just people that are older that have been through it, can look back like me telling my 20-year-old self something would've been so helpful, I'll be honest.

Me now. Yeah. Versus then, right? Yeah. I wouldn't have sweat, like all these silly things that really were not that important in the long run. Now I do know that you own a skincare company, which you've mentioned. How do you feel like. Skincare actually plays a role in how we're feeling our self-worth our confidence.

Oh, thank you for asking that because I, this is a, a subject near and dear to my heart. To start out with a basic just sort of science note, I mean, our skin is the largest organ in our body. It protects us and it. It breathes, it's obviously living, breathing, and so, [00:13:00] it's very important to take care of it and, understand it.

You don't have to have a degree in biology, but just to understand a little bit about, how your skin works and, and what it's there for. But,, the condition of our skin does affect how we view ourselves. Mm-hmm. And I think all women are probably prone to that. It's a natural thing.

, so definitely if you have, a good skincare routine that is at the very least, simple. That's really important. , you can indulge in 15 or 20 products and use them every day. There's nothing wrong with that, but I think a lot of women, especially as you get older, it kind of loses its attraction.

You don't wanna spend that kind of time in front of the mirror. You just want good skin. So how can I get good skin done? In a short amount of time and, and get on with my day. And so, yeah, I [00:14:00] think that, the better your skin is, the better you feel about yourself because it's also that your internal health, it, it's not just exterior,

, you're gonna feel better about yourself and you're gonna be happier. You're gonna be, um, better at what you do, whether it's mom or. Work or I was going to mention a saying that I had heard, and I forget exactly how it was said, but our, our faces are own, but they are for other people as well.

So we want to look beautiful, but we give our smiles to other people, on the street or whom we work with, and so that's another reason. How you look.

It's not all just vanity. Having a good sense of self worth is part of that. Yeah, when you feel better. It shows and your attitude changes.

So yeah, I, I [00:15:00] agree. Now you did mention there are simple tips, right? Because listen, we're busy moms here. Yes. Where some of us aren't even looking in the mirror probably. So what is some easy things that moms should be doing with their skin so that it does continue to look good as we age? I think that the, the very first, very important step is cleansing.

But I would like to point out that unless you have a lot of oil production or maybe you're still struggling with acne, which if you are, don't feel bad because a lot of adults have acne. If you don't have super, like massive oil production or acne, wash your face once a day and my, recommendation is at night, whether or not you wear makeup, of course, if you wear makeup, it's gonna take it off.

But, , if you don't wear makeup even, you've got all, , the environmental. Junk on [00:16:00] your face. And , there's dirt and, and everything, so it's a great time to wash your face and then, um, use a toner. Because a toner is like mini exfoliation. If you take a toner that is not alcohol based and actually has some really nice ingredients in it, that's going to wipe away makeup that was missed.

When with the wash, it's going to wipe away some dead cells and debris, that didn't come off with the wash. And, , there should be some soothing ingredients in it that will. Not make your face feel tight, , wash, sometimes you feel tight. And then use a toner if there's alcohol in there. Face is going to be really tight.

You're gonna be unhappy. It doesn't have to be that way. You can have some really good exfoliating action with a little refreshment and not the drying. And that's good. So cleanse, [00:17:00] tone, and then moisturize. Just three steps. Find a moisturizer you like and stick with it because, if you find a, a soap and a toner and a cleanser that really works well for your skin, don't change it.

, be happy and, and, , enjoy good skin. Think that harsh cleansers are out there, so you wanna avoid them, but, in general, all it takes, are those three steps. Again, if you are someone who likes a lot of things, by all means do it, especially if you're achieving really great results.

But, it's really what all it takes is just every day wash your face, use a toner and use a moisturizer. , I like to throw in once a week, use a, a real exfoliator, because we just all have a layer of dead skin cells and it needs to come off if we want to, have a glow come through. [00:18:00] But it doesn't have to be difficult.

Mm-hmm. And it doesn't have to be time consuming. It can, those three steps can bring you some really good skin. Yeah. And I mean, I'm a very basic wash my face, put some moisturizer on and, and I'm done. Right? Like, I, I don't do very much, but it's a form of self-care that you're taking care of yourself to take care of your skin and really take the time to do it.

I mean, I see my daughter, we FaceTime 'cause she's at college and oh my goodness, her routine. It's like 30 minutes, but you can tell how it makes her feel that, she's taking care of herself, and then That's amazing. So it is a form of self care when you do things as simple as wash your face right.

Yes, absolutely. Now, are there any misconceptions about skin and aging? Like as you get older, is there something that you hear sometimes and you're like, oh my God, that is so not true. As you get older, skin does blank yes. There are so [00:19:00] many, but, um, I think some of the ones that come to mind first of all, our pores. You know, people say, do this when you, you've just washed your face with warm water because your pores are open and et cetera. Or use ice to close your pores. I, I've heard that a lot of times, and your pores don't actually open and close. They don't have tiny little muscles that are opening and contracting them.

They're just your pores. They just stay that way. Unless they're clogged, then your, your pore is gonna look large and they're not gonna be healthy. So, you would need to take steps to do that. But, pores don't open and close. I think that there's a rumor going around, recently that.

Natural oils will, act as sunscreen. So, in particular, carrot seed oil, red raspberry oil, uh, I forget the other one. But those [00:20:00] two oils are promoted by companies right now. , and they're smaller companies, but they're doing business. Promoting the fact that you can use that as a natural sunscreen.

And I, I really wanna caution against that because there have been, , several studies done on those oils and they, any SPF value they provide is negligible really in the grand scheme of things that they're not, you can't put them on and go out there and be protected from the sun. One that I heard,

and, and my goal is not to, knock, companies or, or drag 'em through the mud at all. But, you know, there are some myths, truth out there and, and myths. And one of these is, um, saying that, uh, water attracts water and lotion, uh, is mostly water. Which is true. And so when you apply lotion or moisturizer, that water is drawing the moisture out of your [00:21:00] skin and it's evaporating into the air, and that is very untrue. So, um, a, a cream or a lotion is always, it has always been the same since the creation of lotion and some creams. Water is a construct of lotion. It can't be lotion without water.

Can't be a cream without water, so it has to be in there. It's not a bad thing. , what is true is water does attract water, but it's not drawing it out of your skin. That, that would take a lot and then, , it evaporating. It's helping to moisturize, but also most lotions have an emollient or,

a humectant or, or some sort of occlusive ingredient that locks the moisture in. It has those things, those components in there to help your skin. So there's another company that's, , [00:22:00] advertising nine years of wrinkles gone in nine days.

Just be astute, astute and aware. Um, you know, they always say, if it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is. So, skincare is important to women and it's not just functional. We love. The femininity of it or the, the way it makes us feel. It's, it's all great stuff. So just be careful because, some people, , will sell you a story mm-hmm.

, in order to get you to buy and that story may not be a hundred percent true. Yeah. Okay, so here's a question. Can you get rid of wrinkles? Can you, I mean, like naturally not like get surgery or something like that. Like, can you actually get rid of wrinkles? Great question. And, um, I had done my own research, but I was recently speaking with a, a plastic surgeon and I asked [00:23:00] him, what was his answer?

And he, basically. Concurred with me, which is that once a Wrinkle has formed, it's, it's deep in the layers and so without surgery or Botox or thumb thing like that, yeah, it, it pretty much cannot be reversed. It can be hidden. It can be relaxed. And that's why, if you look on pretty much any advertising for skincare, uh, like a, a moisturizer or a serum or something, it will talk about, helps to reduce fine lines

they can't come out and say, you'll be wrinkle free. Yeah. 'cause you can't in nine days, right? In nine days. In nine days. But a lot of people like, uh, plastic surgery, they like the way they look, I think that there are a lot of really good plastic surgeons out there. If that's your lane, [00:24:00] go for it.

If you want in natural ways. I think that trying to get dramatic results. From, a bottle will take time. You will be able to see some real results, but it takes time. It, it's not like Botox. It's not like an injection where you immediately see that go away.

Mm-hmm. But yeah, I mean, there are a lot of. Really good, products out there that will give you the results that you're looking for. They won't remove your wrinkles, but they will give you those, those results if you're patient. . So they'll make it less, is what you're saying, like less, yeah.

But not gone. Yeah. Got it. Yes. Yes. But if you don't mind my following that statement with. It's okay. , our wrinkles are hard earned right. In life and, um, they, they make us who we are. Like snowflakes. No two of us are the same. We have our own wrinkles, our own stories. It's [00:25:00] great. So what would you like moms to start doing today after listening to this podcast? In thinking about my own,, career as a mother, for lack of a different way to say it, I think I would a suggest that they don't compare themselves to other people.

Just be the best mom or be the best woman that you can be, and. Love that. Mm-hmm. You know that, that's important. If you're being the best you can be, no one can ask anything more. And so love your children, love your job, love the people around you, and that's very, very important., I spent a lot of time, unfortunately, as a younger mother.

Concerned with what the neighbors thought, what my friends thought, et cetera. Of course you wanna be concerned with what your husband thinks, but beyond that, just, be the best person you can be, and then don't fear [00:26:00] aging. If you can avoid it, I, I encourage you to do so because sitting here at 61 and looking back.

Especially my fifties. My fifties were such a great decade. I think that there are so many great things about life and about getting older. And then, one thing that I, I didn't mention that I'll mention now is just, you know, when you're children are adults, wow.

That is just a very different stage of life and it's really. Kind of a trip and because you get to see the people that they become and, their interests and their goals and who they bring into their lives. And everything is very full. Hearts are full and houses are full, and it's just a really neat, neat time.

And, there's nothing to fear about that, I just think it's great. Yeah, I love that. Now where can the listeners find you and tell us what you have to offer? Thank you [00:27:00] for that. My skincare line is Magnolia Skin Essentials, and . It's a clean skincare line, and the star ingredient is magnolia extract.

Magnolia extract is a super antioxidant. It's an anti-inflammatory and an antibacterial, so it works on so many issues. If you've got rosacea, if you are just have sensitive skin, if you have aging skin., a doctor told me once he put it in in. A great way to look at it. He said a human body is like a burning cigarette.

Because if you think about it, when you light the ash, it's young. You're a young person. But as we age and the ash burns and gets longer, that's oxidization and that's what aging is, is we're oxidizing. And so antioxidants. [00:28:00] Are the remedy for that. So, I say that because Magnolia Extract is a wonderful super antioxidant.

It's just packed with all of that, so good for your skin. And so, um, my website is magnolia skin essentials.com and um, if you sign up, you can get an instant $10 credit. But I encourage, anybody to take a look. And see if those products are right for you. Before I trained as a cosmetic chemist, , I author, speaker, and divorce recovery coach. Just in a nutshell. I had gone through a divorce, uh, against my will, but I went through one when I was 30, and as I mentioned, I had lost the children.

So I had seven years of real challenging life, you know, issues. And, after I [00:29:00] remarried and had children, I just felt that I wanted to give back and wanted to help. Some other people who were struggling as, as much as I had. And so I have several books and they're available@lisaduffy.com and, I'm so grateful that I get to share that.

Thank you. Well, thank you for coming on the show today.

This was so nice and you shared so much of your wisdom, and I know as you age you'll have even more wisdom to share with us, but it's been so nice and thank you for being here. Thank you, Lisa. It's an honor. I appreciate it.

Thank you for joining us for this episode. It was so lovely to talk to Lisa about aging and it being a superpower.

I think she really gave some amazing, insightful tips, so we don't have to be fearful of aging. Each phase in each stage has its beauty to it. And remember, it is a privilege to [00:30:00] age. If you wanna connect with Lisa and take advantage of all she has to offer, just click on the link in the show notes

and until next week, keep carving out time for yourself and keep putting yourself on top of your to-do list.