Creating A Life That Aligns With Your Purpose With Lauren Gaggioli

Hi, Lauren. Welcome to Real Life Moms. I'm really excited to have our conversation today. As am I. I'm so thrilled to be here, Lisa. Thank you. And I know you're passionate about many things. You do. You have your hands on lots of things. So that's what I love about you. But one thing I do want to make sure I hit on today is that your passion for really finding that purpose and your why both in.

life and business, but before we jump into that, maybe you could just tell us a little bit about how you found your purpose. Actually. Oh, my goodness. So, um, something I'm trying to like instill in my daughter and it's inspired by Princess Leia is that we are self rescuing princesses. I'm a Disney girl at heart, I run Disney half marathons and whatnot, I did the Dopey this past year.

I did the Disney half as well when I turned 40, so that's like 10 years ago. Good for you! Yes, so fun. Highly recommend. Yeah, oh, like, yes, if you're not a runner, [00:01:00] these are the races for you. But, You know, it's one of those things that I think you, you gain clarity on as, as you become a parent, um, sometimes it, it doesn't come before that, but when you start to see the, the trickle down effect, things become more, more important and impactful and, and become a priority in a way that maybe they weren't pre kiddos.

So, This idea of naming my purpose actually came after I had my children, so I had built a test prep company. I was helping kids get ready for the ACT and SAT. I started with in house tutoring and then moved it all online because I never saw my husband because he worked 9 to 5 and I worked 5 to 9 on weekends.

Uh, so it was like, okay, tutoring's not the thing. And projecting forward, I was like, well if we want to have kids, then this really isn't going to work. And so I moved everything online to asynchronous online courses [00:02:00] so that I would have freedom. I would have time and financial freedom. And So I did that knowing that, well, I loved empowering students with this really big scary test, like, the mindset side was hugely important to me.

I really loved my connection with my students. I know a lot of folks are like, you worked with teenagers? Why? I'm like, they're the best they have such agency, but they're still also a little starry eyed, which I, it's just so magical. It's like a fantastic time.

And so I really loved getting to know them and help them with this kind of scary thing. But I think even when I built the online course, I knew it wasn't my forever calling, but it was a means to an end. And. It was a way for me to learn about online entrepreneurship. I've always had an entrepreneurship side.

And so I really am grateful to that first company, but what I started to notice in my [00:03:00] students was that some were really intrinsically motivated. And others were being cattle prodded, or they were, like, people pleasing hoop jumpers, but that was my bent, um, you know, they, they didn't really embody their why.

And the ACT and SAT, it's a very reductive practice, like, it's, it's, again, kind of like me building that company was the means to an end. And it's not that expansive, exciting future. It is something you need to go through if you want. The most scholarship money you want to get into the, you know, top universities, that sort of thing.

But if you don't have that innate sense of what it is you want, you don't do as well with that singular hoop, and you're not as motivated or clear in your messaging on the other side. And so I built a program called Big Why Life and initially it was [00:04:00] conceived to help these high school students who are struggling to write their personal statements, who were struggling to buckle down and do the work.

They were having a really hard time being motivated. Parents were asking me, how do I motivate my kid? And I was like, sorry, that's internal work, you know, and I realized as I crafted it and went through it myself alongside my, my beta testers that I was building my own sort of rescue. Ship, right?

I was, I was being a self rescuing princess. And so, I decided that through that work, I realized that that reductive nature of ACT and SAT, that lack of continuation, and that sense that it is a means to an end was something that actually wasn't serving me as the leader of that company. and I started to struggle too with the pandemic. There was some messaging stuff and kids who were getting caught in the crosshairs and I was, trying to [00:05:00] untangle a knot that kept tangling itself back up, and I realized that just was no longer a space that I wanted to be in.

So I decided to leave because my purpose is to help others realize and actualize. Their true potential and so it's two part. I help people see it and then I help people make it real and that just wasn't what I was doing with my company anymore I had learned the skills that I had come to learn and I really realized that I love online entrepreneurship So much one of the things that like struck me between the eyes as I was positioning my company for sale Which I did in September 2020 Um, I sold it to a colleague and she, you know, she asked for the data and I started to realize like the SEO side of it, the organic marketing, how I had such [00:06:00] little ad spend but had this amazing profit margin, like 70% profit margin, crazy stuff.

So. I just realized that the, especially right now for women who are mothers, who have maybe not a ton of time, not a lot of, financial backing per se, if you have this desire to have something for yourself that you can build and craft while full time momming, that I really believe online entrepreneurship is the way to go.

And not just for moms, for anybody who desires that, but I think specifically for moms who have more constraints on their time, gosh, it's a beautiful way to go. And I think the first step though is really tapping into that purpose and really drilling deep with that and knowing your why. To your core and being able to say it in in language that resonates with you.

Yes. Yes. Yes. This is [00:07:00] all I want to say all of it. Um, yes, I think that purpose is so important, but I think, A, it's really hard to find and figure out, I don't think people, they really struggle with knowing their purpose, because I think you have to do some deep inner work. So, I guess my first question is, what do you recommend as the first steps in finding Or trying to find your purpose.

So, I think that the self help world has pulled the wool over our eyes a little bit. Some, some authors are better at this than others, but I think really, The idea that the treasure is already inside of you when I read that in Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert I was like, whoa like that's it we know the things that matter to us, but very rarely do we [00:08:00] articulate it and very rarely do we feel especially, like, hashtag mom life, very rarely do we feel like we have the time to pause and actually hear the hollering of our own heart.

And so I think it really, the first step is to start stripping away the layers. It's like peeling off layers of paint, right, or mining, whatever image works for you. Peeling off layers of paint, mining down deep into your core, whatever that is for you that, that sort of strikes a chord. We have to go deep inside and often times we have to go back to those sort of lightning rod moments where we go, I love this.

Like I'm in flow. I totally lost track of time. Which one was the last time any of us lost track of time? We're like all on a calendar. We've got like Google alerts going off all the time. But really thinking about those like magical moments, you might have to go back to childhood. You know, and that's okay.

Like, that sense of playfulness and, [00:09:00] and freedom and flow, that's where it really lives. But ultimately, it comes down to the core values that are being lived in those moments. And if you can name that, it's like placing a magnet at True North on your life's compass. And then articulating of a resonant big why statement is like putting a needle on that compass and it just tracks straight to where those core values are living.

And to me, that's what it means to be living in alignment. You know your core values. They're drawing you forward. Your purpose statement is the needle that keeps you pointing in that direction and keeps you living actions that are that fulfillment of the core values. And the more you can feed that cycle, oh my gosh, the more magic you can create in your life.

It's, it's really powerful. Yeah, and it's interesting, because I happen to be a big Simon [00:10:00] Sinek fan. I love Simon Sinek! Don't you love him? He was at a conference I was at, like, there were two conferences going on at the same time, and he was the keynote speaker at the other conference and I was dying.

I saw him in the lobby and I like wanted to like sidle up and be like, hi, I love you. But Simon also does. You know, all about finding your why.

Yes. And so I stepped way out of my comfort zone. It was during COVID and I signed up for this online class. It was only like an, I may have been an hour or two is it was short and you literally tell your life story to a stranger. You get paired up. It's, it's intimidating people. Oh my gosh. But I think I'm telling this story because there is a point and you tell your life stories, these different stories to 

a stranger. The stranger takes notes and finds these common threads. Because I think it's hard sometimes for us to do it ourselves, right? Like, we're, we're just in it. And so the stranger took [00:11:00] notes and at the end, they kind of give you your statement and you feel if it's right and you do the same for them.

So it's, that's really beautiful. It's beautiful. It's bonding. It's very intimidating. Bye. Bye. And of course I had to continue, you know, you have to continue growing and working through, but I think that point was just, yeah, just also maybe, you know, talking to other people or friends or, you know, getting it out there so that maybe they can give some feedback to you too.

Absolutely. And that is a step in my course. So the first step is actually to interview people in your life and ask them about favorite memories and what they think your strengths are and your, your three strengths and weakness. You know, we were nice about the balance of things. But, um, the reason that I do that exercise first too, and this would be different with a stranger when you're, you're the one reflecting your, your own story out.

But when you do it with people you know, [00:12:00] sometimes you see how their perception has shaped you. And you can see like, oh, I'm conforming. That's why that doesn't feel in alignment, but sometimes you can't see it without calling it up. So we go outside in first, and then inside out, and then we have the values.

And that's the first three weeks of the program. And it's really powerful to see, like. It was interesting because my husband did it. He's a good sport. And he realized he is tremendously concerned about our environment and literally nobody in his life knew that. Nobody reflected that back to him. And he was like, oh yeah, I don't talk.

I'm not a communicator. So these people Don't know the passion that I have for this and how concerned I am about it. And since then we've been able to find, like, I've found a couple of program, like we always have composted, but like I found a couple of programs that help close the food [00:13:00] loop and, and things like that where like, this is a way that I can support you and help you feel more seen and as your partner, that's what I want to do.

 And I think. Sometimes when we don't know our own purpose, it can feel like we're floundering, and like we have to search outside of ourself for answers, but when we start to dredge it up inside of us, and then we start to speak it to the people in our life who can help us, you start to see that there is help everywhere, and that there are people who want to support you everywhere, and that just starts to create this lovely flow in your life.

It creates ease, which don't we all want more of, especially ease that moves us towards a goal Or something that matters to us. It's just like this really validating experience. And I think, too, getting your kids on board is really helpful. Like, my children know if I say, Mommy needs to sit down and write for a little bit because I love my work and I love helping entrepreneurs and this is the way that I [00:14:00] serve, they're like, cool, we'll go build blocks for a little while.

You know, like they're more apt when I, when I connect it to what matters to me and those values that, that I hold, they understand that there's room for everybody and that I'm going to hold that same space for them too, as they start to uncover that in themselves. So it's really lovely. You can change your whole family culture just by, by being that person who's able to articulate their, their calling.

You have somewhere, maybe in your website or somewhere that I stalked you on, is that, that your purpose should be your personal purpose and that your business should fit into that. And I love that. Yeah. Can you explain that a little bit more? We ladies, we are context switching machines.

And I'm sure some gentlemen fit into that description as well. I realized after, having my daughter that [00:15:00] I began to define myself. Like I wasn't Lauren anymore. I was mom, I was wife, I was daughter, I was sister, I was friend. And I started to like slightly, like, Shapeshift as I would like step into each role and I kind of went like whoa That's this feel like who am I you know, like what am I doing?

and And I think when we talk about purpose or like if I see, I do a lot of keyword research because I'm always curious about the data. Like what are people typing into Google when they have a problem? How can I meet that search intent and help folks? Um, and something that I found was that people are looking for like, personal mission statement generators, like, and then personal mission statement and business mission statement.

There's a lot of fragmentation and sort of this approach that feels very ununified and not healthy. And then I started looking at social, and [00:16:00] how a lot of teens have their spam accounts, and then their like main account, and they've got all these different things, and different stuff goes on different things, and I was like, wow, this is, this is problematic, you extrapolate this, and we have folks who are no longer sure of who they are.

And it can devolve, right? We see this like, this really, like, lack of centeredness, lack of groundedness. And so, I became really vocal about that unification piece. And that, for entrepreneurs, Solopreneurs in particular, hustle culture, all of that. We have this sense that like we're always robbing time from our family or from our business.

Like we're never allowed to just be. And a lot of that comes from this fragmented sense of purpose. So if we can unify and say, I, Lauren, This is my purpose, and my purpose [00:17:00] is to help others realize and actualize their potential. I do that with my kids when I'm homeschooling. I do that with my friends sometimes when they have a problem, right?

I love to reflect back to people what they, what I see in them and ask them if it feels right to them. And if so, then what's the next action? Like, I'm very much the person people come to when they have a problem and they want to solve it and like move through it. I'm not the person to like help you wallow.

So don't come to me for that kind of session. And so I know if I've spent any time in my purpose in a day, And sometimes I'm not even working in my business. Sometimes I'm homeschooling my kids and that was the way I lived out my purpose that day. Uh, sometimes, you know, if I'm volunteering or things like that, like, there are many ways I can live out that singular purpose.

But it means that your purpose needs to have a wide enough aperture, right? You have to be able to include enough in it, but it's still bound, right? There's still a boundary around it. And that's what helps [00:18:00] kind of create that flow state. And If you spend 15 minutes and you know you spent 15 minutes living your purpose, then like, yay, you moved that day.

And also, the beautiful thing about having that unified sense of purpose is then you know if you lived it, and then you can do what none of us do enough of, which is rest. Yeah. You can fully let go and say, I hit the target today. To me, happiness is not the goal, it's fulfillment and knowing that you're living out your purpose and putting action to your purpose, that's the critical piece.

 For me. It makes it also much easier to say yes or no to something or an opportunity or something because if it doesn't meet my core purpose, my beliefs, my alignment, then I don't do it.

And it's so much easier to walk away because I don't feel like I'm missing anything and vice versa. When. It's an [00:19:00] opportunity that might be fearful or scary because it's bigger than me, but it still aligns with me. It makes it less scary. And I know that I can do it because that's my purpose. I love that.

Yes, absolutely. And I think you hit on something here, which is our visibility to the opportunities these days, the accessibility of opportunity. Our brains weren't wired for this. We didn't grow up. Or we didn't develop as a culture, as a people with this discernment because we were always so geographically bound and like, and we had to move in a particular direction.

We lived in one village and you were going to be a baker because your father was like, that's it. Game over. And now it's, it's beautiful what this time gives us. In terms of accessibility, it's lovely, however, we have to be able to say no and I think there's this [00:20:00] perception that we should be saying yes to everything and, and I love that, that for you that, that your, that's what your purpose, that's where it started, that your purpose helps you say no.

It helps me say no, yes, easily. So you talk a little bit, and I think you were tapping into this a little bit, but that entrepreneurial enmeshment, can you explain the concept a little bit more and how do we unmesh or untangle from it?

Yeah. So if you're familiar with like codependent tendencies in family systems or enmeshment principles, I'm not a psychologist, but, , I've definitely done, uh, some homework around it. And I started to notice. In my entrepreneurial circles, this like entanglement with our businesses and sometimes it develops as like a savior complex with your clients.

Like I, I must rescue everyone that leads to a very porous sense of boundaries, with [00:21:00] clients. I know I certainly fell into this when I was launching my company, checking my email all the time. But when I first put a boundary on it is when my company really excelled.

So for like two years I hustled my buns off and then we went for two weeks to Europe and while in Europe and I checked my emails, I think I said I was going to check them twice and just make sure that clients could have access, like nothing on the website went down, that sort of thing. I checked in two or three times maybe and I made our mortgage for the first time.

Wow. In those two weeks. Amazing. And it was that whole like, I've been strangling this business because I've been so entwined and beholden to it and not, there's hungry, which is good, and then there's desperate, which is not, and I had gotten desperate. I was like unshowered and unfed and over caffeinated in the [00:22:00] launch phase.

And so I started to look around and I noticed that I have a lot of friends. In the entrepreneurial spaces, you go to conferences, you hear the conversations in the hall. This is not. Um, and that sense of being able to give yourself rest is what makes you a more innovative entrepreneur. Boundaries with clients is a beautiful thing, you know, all, all those things that you really need to have a business that helps you thrive, not have a life that is just tethered to your business.

 We're here for freedom. We have the ability to build that for ourselves and if you can untangle that and really wrestle with it, you can find the pain points that are specific to you, it manifests differently in everyone, but you can find those pain points that are different for, for every person and then start to unravel that for yourself, which I think is a really, really beautiful [00:23:00] thing.

Beautiful gift to give yourself. Yeah. And it's funny because it's not just in the business world over there. I, I'm in healthcare. I'm a craniosacral therapist. And it's the same thing. If I'm too invested in my client, who's like on the table, if I want them to heal and I don't want them to have pain and I'm so in it, they don't.

They don't. It's amazing. Because I think what happens is with cranial, you need to really listen to the body and just be really grounded to be able to do that. And if I have too much intention in it, I'm not doing my job. And so it's like I do have to sit back. I have to let the client kind of take over and then follow them in a sense 

so it's just interesting how it really is the same. Like take a step back, don't intertwine yourself. We all want the best for our clients, whether it's healthcare or business, but yeah, take a step back and actually they're [00:24:00] going to do better. And so will you. And I think too. You know, it's probably different when you have a client on the table and you're, there's that energetic connection.

I think with online business, in particular, there's this like disembodiment thing happening, because you feel like you're shouting into the void of the internet and praying that someone will answer you. Um, especially in those early days. And this is where I think organic search really saved me because I knew the questions for a certainty that people were asking, not just what they were asking, but how they were asking it and how many people were asking that question.

And it pointed the way to how to serve and getting kind of underneath that search intent and really going, is this person. ready to buy? Or is this person needing more information and can I serve that for a while before I say, oh, by the way, I do this. And again, it kind of takes that [00:25:00] desperation out of it.

And I think it works for all different kinds of businesses, like, I mean, local for sure. And, you know, if you're doing more of a digital, like, Global, scalable play, like, the whole nine, brick and mortar all the way up, it, it's really powerful stuff that can absolutely change your mindset because it's no longer throwing darts in the dark, you know?

Yeah. Well, speaking of which, okay, for the mompreneurs that are on this. Listening to this episode, can you give us some, magic tips on the SEO world, on the organic reach for those that are online, or just need to market? So... I don't like feeding Zuckerberg.

I would prefer to feed Uncle Google because I want Google to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner. And the reason [00:26:00] that I was able to step away from my business in 2016 was that I was driving on average 16, 000 users to my site. New users. People who didn't know me. each and every month. I hadn't quite figured out the conversion piece, but I was getting huge volumes of traffic to my site in a very crowded space.

Everybody knows the names, Kaplan, Princeton Review, you know. These, this is not a space that was empty and I was just the only player, the only game in town. I was beating out the big guys. And I was getting clients from it. And the reason that I was able to do that was because of my strategic approach.

And so I talk about it as an ecosystem, right? So Google's job in his ecosystem, he gets paid when people pay for ads. But his whole job is to connect users. He's a matchmaker. It's the ultimate Tinder, right? He just wants you to swipe right and pick the content that's going to serve your need.

Zuckerberg. [00:27:00] TikTok, doesn't matter which one, their whole thing is to keep you on their platform because their ads only work if you stay. So also the feed, we know it goes so fast, whereas I was able to get 16, 000 new users to my site for two years running without developing new content. So it spiked at 450, 000.

Searches a year at in 2016 and then I think it was 2017 summer 2017 through summer 2019 is when I was getting 200, 000 unique users through organic search per year, but I didn't develop any content front facing content in those years. So those are big numbers and I think a lot of people think like, oh, well, I can't do that.

I was a solo practitioner. I would, nobody else was there with me. I wrote every blog post. I. Created every podcast and I was able to do it and then work four hours a week. after my [00:28:00] daughter was born and drive, you know, four and five figure months. So it's a heavy lift on the front end, but it's the kind of thing that can, can continue to feed you on the back end.

And if you keep working the content cycle, which I didn't, but if you keep working the content cycle, you can cycle up even more year over year and serve even more. And when you think about it, they're so. for us solo practitioners, right? Our solo entrepreneurs, folks who are out here on our own doing our own little thing.

We don't really need that many clients, right? So we don't even need the huge search volume. If you have a scalable offering, then great. But it is the kind of thing that when we take that holistic approach and we go, this is what Google and the bots need to bring people to my site. And then we say, here is the content that meets that search intent.

Let me take. That stranger on the internet's hand and serve them with [00:29:00] a warm and loving heart and say, I see you, I see your pain, see how I'm using the exact same language you, you used in Google. I know where you are because I've been there too, or I have clients who have been there too. And this is how I help.

And you walk them to the next right step. And you bring them into your ecosystem, which is often email. That's, I think, the best way to serve. And then you maybe have other offerings, like a YouTube channel, or you say, hey, come follow me on social. I'd love to connect with you there, too. You can do those other things, but those are ancillary.

All roads should lead to your website, and Google should know. What you do, and you don't know the language to use if you haven't done keyword research. So keyword research sounds scary, but it's really not. And I think a lot of folks who are in the SEO space want to tell you that it's changing every day and it's always going to be different, and AI, oh my goodness, the sky is falling.

 But, it's the kind of thing that. If you take the timeless [00:30:00] principles, Google is always going to reward quality content on a technically sound website, as long as you can be that, like, let's strip away all the other stuff and just focus on that. I use what's called the mole method.

You poke your head up every three to six months, you look around, you go, has anything changed? And if so, like, on a fundamental scale, you go, okay, I'll shift that, and then you go back down. And you execute, execute, execute. And then three to six months later, you can pop your head up again. But... It, it does not have to be complicated.

A lot of SEOs just want you to get you organic traffic. That's great. But what happens when they hit your site? If they just leave, then that actually doesn't serve you or them. So it's about creating these cycles, these repeatable cycles. And when you start to see how they all sort of circle together and, and come over one another to create this like, kind of like pervasiveness of [00:31:00] your brand.

And ultimately you will get sales from that. So it doesn't have to be scary, it doesn't have to be overly technical, it doesn't have to be difficult. There is tremendous opportunity. I have yet to have found a vertical for any client I've worked with or anyone I've guided through my course on SEO and not found tremendous low hanging fruit.

Just. Stupid amounts of traffic for very low keyword difficulty. Why has nobody written that post? Guess what? If you're the first one to write it, you're going to be rewarded. Yeah. Okay, so what I'm hearing is... really spend time with Google and learn those keywords and making sure that they're in your things like websites and things like that.

Is that correct? Yes. And there is a strategy around it, like how you do it, how you put it out, how you organize your site. All of those things are absolutely important [00:32:00] because the the robots They, they need hierarchies, right? They need headers. They need images that have alt text. They need organized content.

You can't just be writing stream of consciousness. Like, if you're writing like William Faulkner, they don't know what you do. Don't just write sentences without periods. Like, block it up, think about the user experience, the human user, but also think about the robots, right? We want to, we want to take care of the robots.

They, they're going to know more than us very soon. So scary. So scary. Okay. Well, it seems like you offer a ton. So tell the listeners where to find you and what you offer. So, everything lives at laurengaggioli. com, but because that's not easy to type or spell, G A G G I O L I. I will have it in the show notes as well, yes.

Perfect. But, if you are, I think the first place to start is [00:33:00] gaining clarity about, um, what Where your next steps in life, right? If you're a mom who feels like she's just lost her identity and in parenting It's beautiful and chaotic and you love your babies But also who are you like if you're stuck in that then bigwhylife.com will take you straight to that program.

It is built truly to be flexible And, and meet each person, whether they're a career questioner, a stay at home parent, a solo entrepreneur, a student. It's meant to meet you where you are and provide a framework, not a formula. So it walks you through these exercises and helps you come out the other side with a purpose statement.

Um, if you want to know more about SEO, that is organicmarketingecosystem. com. And that's all, it all lives on my site. So those will just take you straight to the pages. Where I show you sort of how to have SEO meet user experience in a way that creates [00:34:00] a lovely user experience both for the bots and for the people.

And, I also have a drop in mastermind. So... Um, if you are feeling stuck, I have an idea a minute. Um, so I love to meet with my fellow entrepreneurs. The first session's just 25 bucks. So if you come over to LaurenGaggioli com, you can find the mastermind there. It's drop in, pay as you go. So it's not a huge commitment because I can't handle like a big time commitment to something like that right now.

And the masterminds that are out there, they're like nine months. And I'm like, I don't have the bandwidth to do that for myself. I love facilitating it for others, but like, I just really want to serve in a way that serves me too and fits me. And I like juggling. I like meeting lots of new people. So If you feel like all those, like, weekly calls, like, that doesn't fit for [00:35:00] me, I can help with that.

If you want to hire a SEO, I do that, too, and if you want more of a one on one coaching experience, I have that as well, but the, the mastermind's really fun because we get in a room with like minded entrepreneurs. It's a lot of my friends, like, I, I think pretty much all my clients at this point have Uh, like started as friends and then they're like, Oh, you also do SEO.

Please help me. So yeah, it's, it's really good fun. And I get to spend all day talking to entrepreneurs is my favorite thing in the world. So come join the party. My goodness, Lauren, when I said you have a lot of passions, we were not kidding. You do so much. I love it. I just, my, my brain is itchy and I just, there's no, there's no stopping it.

It's going to keep going. So I may as well. So get to meet really cool people along the way. Yes. Well, well, thank you. Thank you for everything you gave us today and shared and it's just been such an amazing conversation. I really enjoyed it. [00:36:00] It was my pleasure. And I loved getting to meet you. Thank you so much, Lisa.