Align Your Workouts with Your Nervous System: Pilates & Self-Care Tips for Busy Moms with Beth Sandlin

Welcome to the Real Life Momz podcast. It is time to take a break from all our to dos and carve out this time to focus on ourselves. I'm Lisa Foster, your host, and today I'm here with fellow mom, Beth Sandlin. She is the founder of Trifecta Pilates, and she's here to help us listen to our bodies and align our workouts with our nervous system.

Hi, Beth. Thank you for coming on the show. Thank you so much for having me, Lisa. I'm thrilled to be here today. Well, I'm excited to be here with you because Pilates has been something in the back of my mind that I've always wanted to do. But, I just never really got into it or got around to it.

And then they have all these different types of Pilates, like classes and reformers. And I know you bring Pilates to your home too, that you can make it easy and accessible. So that's why I'm so excited to have you here. Cause I think that's what us moms can handle easy and accessible, right? It really is.

Not only did I [00:01:00] experience that when I was working full time in a Pilates studio, I did my workouts at home as a mom, but I lost a lot of clients who before they were moms were able to fit in coming to a Pilates studio. Bring their little baby afterwards and I'd never see them again. And it really was that motivation of how can I bring studio quality Pilates.

into the home. And now it's just easier than ever because of the virtual component. So I really love offering that because it just makes sense for busy moms, which I think if you are a mom, you are innately going to be a little bit busy. And it's so true because I used to love going to the gym.

And then I found that once I had kids, I had a lot of guilt around going to the gym, which is another whole podcast. We don't have to talk about that. But I didn't feel guilty about going downstairs and doing a workout in my basement and like, I was able to keep that up. So I think what you're saying is so important to have that accessibility.

You could do it while your child's napping. [00:02:00] You can get up a little earlier. And that's the other thing. Even if I got up earlier, I couldn't leave young kids at home while I left for the gym, but I can go downstairs. So that was so much better for me. And that's exactly how I fit it in too. And if anyone's listening to this and you're not an early bird, like I'm a night owl, sometimes it was fitting it in after I tucked the kids into bed and when they were teeny tiny, my trick was I just tuck them into bed a little bit earlier than normal.

I can go down to the basement and work out and many times I actually have pictures of this, they, they would come down once they got out of no more nap phase they come down with me and create like little obstacle courses and sometimes they join me on the mat and it was just like part of their childhood experience and now they're older and I can set more clear boundaries of I'm going down, it's my quiet time because they're more, they're teenagers, they're self sufficient.

Let me ask you this, like why Pilates? What is it about Pilates that you love so much? Think it's really [00:03:00] exciting where we are right now with understanding the value of different types of exercises, because what it's doing is shining a flashlight on why Pilates is so valuable.

Where in the past sometimes, I've been teaching Pilates for 20 years, we may have had a harder time explaining that. What I mean by that is not only is it important that we get stronger and flexibility is important. And essential elements as well, but mobility. And that's how we're moving through our joints, moving through arms and shoulders and spine, and that's something that's embedded in to a lot of different Pilates exercises inside.

Now it's the same element, which can make Pilates a little bit humbling. At times, but once you kind of lead in towards curiosity and find those go to options that are just right for your body right now, it's an incredible system to unwind, not only physical tension, but I would also say the emotional tension that we saw as parents, especially as we're [00:04:00] holding space.

For our Children and really no matter what age our Children are, it's sometimes hard to stay regulated when they're having a tantrum when they're teeny tiny or something else is happening and they're much older and it's that self care for us, which I have found is so important so I can be fully present for my kids.

Yeah. And I love what you're saying too, because in the physical therapy realm, so I'm a physical therapist and in that realm, like Pilates does have a lot of components that we use in therapy. In fact, I just had to do continuing ed courses for my license. And one was a, Pilates based horror.

Class for elderly, actually, and so it had like kind of the components and fundamentals of Pilates that people are using in their therapy practice. So it's just so true. Like this is such a great resource for us as [00:05:00] exercise, and it's really healthy. So maybe you can tell us because you're the expert here about what are some of those principles behind Pilates.

I think one of the main principles is taking the time to tune in and listen and learn from your past experience of what is going to be most beneficial, which is a lot different than like what I term sometimes the hustle for health culture, just like bounce back from having a baby, just squeeze it all in.

And we actually know that that's not true. Always the best course of action that we want to understand what are going to be those adjustments. They're going to be really helpful. And sometimes it's working with a physical therapist or a Pilates teacher one on one. Sometimes it's simply just going in, And trying another class and you pick things up as you go along just like our kids learn kind of on their own how to walk.

We can learn Pilates in different ways by taking different classes or asking [00:06:00] questions of your teacher when it makes sense, whether it's in person or virtually. And so beyond that, I would say another element is focusing on breathing, which some people really love to kind of surrender into. And for other people, it can be incredibly challenging.

You've probably experienced this working with people at the physical therapists as well, that the regulation that we have in our breath. Sometimes isn't as optimal as we want it to be. It tends to be more shallow or, uh, held there was constrictions. And so eventually maybe not right away, working towards linking deep breathing with the exercises, which coupled together, just, And this is one of the reasons why the longer someone stays with Pilates, they tend to have like more aha moments.

There's more evolution. It becomes more beneficial because there's more of that coordination that's coming between breath and body control. [00:07:00] They know it's not just about that challenging workout. Maybe it's going to be something a little bit more soothing, either for, body recovery, or maybe for nervous system regulation.

And that's what I found for people who work with me has been really liberating is that it doesn't always have to be a very challenging or long workout, especially for those of us. Who are moms? So, yes, exactly. Challenging and long. Those are not two words, like things that go together in our lives, for sure.

So you tend to emphasize like the importance of. moving in alignment with your nervous system with your workout. So can you talk a little bit about what does that actually mean? And maybe even a step further is like, how do we do that? Yeah. One of the reasons why this is so important is because for me in the very beginning workouts, we're all about the physical, like I need to get my strength and stamina back.

I'm a cancer survivor. And then I had two children and I wanted to get stronger [00:08:00] for them as well. And And then I had a recognition, you know, but I'm not always motivated to work out. I'm very inconsistent working out, even though I'm a health educator, I'm teaching Pilates, and it wasn't until I learned more about the nervous system.

I realized, oh my gosh, especially as a mom, the constant go, go, go and caring for others is that's a lot of energy out, energy out. And then if we later on, okay, well now go do a really challenging workout. Our nervous system is like, no, and what we interpreted that as sometimes is we're just lazy. We lack motivation.

You just need to stick with it. And that's not always the case. And so sometimes, especially if we're in an environment where we're, For the long period of time, we've been hustling and grinding with health or just with our family. It's much more beneficial to do something more soothing. And this doesn't have to be a workout.

That's why I say mindful movement. It can [00:09:00] be movement. And so it could be some stretches in the evening rather than a workout. It can be Going on a walk with or without your kids and not thinking like it has to be a power walk. My number one recommendation is if you've been inconsistent like I have in the past with workouts is what would motivate you just to move a little bit more?

You know, is it going on a walk with your kids because you enjoy that? Or is it after dinner, letting your spouse watch them so you can have a little bit of alone time for a short walk or that? Morning session, whatever it may be. And can you be consistent with that, with shorter duration? And then once you have that consistency, we can layer on adding in, well, what days do you have higher energy?

Most of us have kind of a rhythm in our, our weeks or even through our days where we have a little bit higher energy maybe on Monday compared to Wednesday. Or you're early bird and you love to get up [00:10:00] and, do a little self care before the kids wake up, you're like me and you're like, that's not going to happen.

My kids are my alarm, so I'm going to have to figure out where else in the day I'm going to work out. Well, it doesn't have to be one way, but when you tap into the rhythms of your life, that's when you can pick the workouts that are going to be more beneficial. And here's one additional tip. Insight that I didn't really understand until my kids went through many different phases, like two naps down to one, and then one nap down to zero.

And okay, now they're in elementary school. And now they're older is that I feel like the moment we have that, Oh, we have it all figured out life throws us a curve ball, whether it's an emergency happens or just our kids schedule changes, even from, I would say. Summer time into fall time is a different energy because I'm helping my kids with their, homework.

I'm volunteering more than summertime. It's more like free for all. And being open to [00:11:00] make those changes, I feel like, is a skill set that we already have as moms. Because we make it work when it comes to how to help our children and if we can talk to ourselves that kindly and just like what makes sense for right now.

I think it's much more motivating than sticking to a plan that works for someone else or even what worked really well for you in the past. I love that because it's true. Like I become this like walker. I'll walk everywhere. I love walking, but it doesn't feel like work. Like to me, it's a workout, quote unquote, right?

Because it's movement. And I get out, more than just cardio. I get out like any nervous energy that's built up during the day. It helps my mood. I'm outside. It has so many benefits for me. But you're right. I never have to be like, Oh, I don't want to go for that walk, you know, because it's easy. It's really easy.

So I love the thought of [00:12:00] first, like kind of listening to ourselves and honoring that that's okay. Like if I have no energy and I. Don't want to do a huge workout. Pick out something simple that you enjoy, right? Anything that we enjoy, we're probably going to be more successful with anyway. So do that first with no shame, right?

What I see in your workouts on line, there are a big variety some of them are like 10 minutes, some are like 30 minutes. I have to say, I looked at the 30 minutes ones ago.

I'm not ready for that. But there was an ab one that was maybe 11 minutes. It seemed perfect. But I like that there is a variety because I was also surprised. I think there was a shoulder stretch, and I was like, Oh, stretching and Pilates. I don't usually put those together. So maybe talk about the different, ways and kind of levels of Pilates that are there for us.

Well, I think that's one of the things that has been really exciting about bringing Pilates out of the traditional space where [00:13:00] traditionally it's like you're coming in for an hour. And sometimes my clients didn't have energy for that. Or if like you were saying, you felt like, Oh, the 30 minutes, that would be a little bit too much.

And it is too much for us sometimes I've been there where it's like, 30 minutes is too much intensity physically for my body, let alone time. I need to narrow it down and have shorter to actually have energy after the workout and not crash. And so that's what's been really fun is sometimes I'll teach a full length class.

For people who have that time and they are ready for that. Or I can split apart workouts in different ways, as you mentioned. And there's other ways as well. So stretching is incorporated into Pilates. I would say it's not like our sole focus, but it's an important element. And this is where we kind of need to determine what is best for.

Your individual body. So for some people, doing a little bit more stretching would be helpful for other [00:14:00] people. You're only doing your stretching. Well, maybe we want to add another ingredient in there. Kind of be like only eating broccoli, like There's other vegetables out there that are good. And if you don't like broccoli, just fill it in with your favorite vegetable that you, you do appreciate.

So there's a lot of different ways in which it can be incorporated. And I encourage people, one reason why I started doing restorative classes and stretching and more of a gentle movement as well, it's because exactly like you said, sometimes it's not. What you want to do is something challenging. It's the restorative yoga.

And for a lot of people who work with me, they've either had a negative experience in yoga, or they just don't quite resonate with it. And so we want to be able to offer different types of workouts from yes. Very beginner foundational level work to advance to slow pace and restorative sessions.

Something a little bit more powerful and vigorous. And [00:15:00] I know we're on the topic of working out, but since this actually just happened to me today, before we hopped on this call, I was working and getting all I need to get away from my desk, trying to incorporate more movement intentionally into my day.

And I thought, I'm going to go walk. I just listened and said, no, you have walked this morning, you worked out a little bit. And even though it's nice weather, you're kind of tired right now. And so I sat on the couch, I sat on the couch for 15 minutes, guilt free, because that's part of overall wellness as well.

Now, if I wanted to, after dinner tonight. Can I walk? Sure. If I want to do some evening stretches, that's usually part of my routine. Can I do that? Sure. And if I didn't do those other things, that's okay too. I think something with wellness, it's like we always have to do more for the most challenging, even with Pilates.

And so I wanted to share that personal example because it goes into what makes [00:16:00] sense for us in this moment. And sometimes it is, you know, something really restorative or something challenging. Other times it's actually just. resting. It's something that you as a physical therapist know there is importance.

The rest is that actually helps us then have more energy. The next time we move our bodies. Well, and rest helps you recover, right? So yeah, let's get rid of that shame and guilt around rest. Like, I mean, granted, I might put it to a pro level sometimes as I'll sit on the couch and watch like a Netflix series and not move, but rest is good and it's okay.

And we don't. Yeah, we don't need to feel guilty about that. I, I agree. I think it's an important piece of wellness. So you do something a little different because you incorporate a little bit of trauma informed into your Pilates approach. How does it also differ from just traditional Pilates?

When I first started and for a lot of people, how they're [00:17:00] continued being trained, it's really about just, The physical movement of Pilates and what is physically beneficial for our bodies. So do we know a challenging workout has benefits? Of course. Now, any Pilates teacher, if they're working with someone who maybe has diastasis recti compared to someone who does not, uh, or maybe other things going on in their body, they're going to adjust the level of intensity because of that physical consideration.

That's just best practice. That's how we're trained. And yet there's another element. And we talked about the nervous system and this ties into trauma, that trauma, influences our nervous system. And if you don't resonate with trauma, it could be stress, it could be being busy. Their body responds in very similar ways, whether it's trauma, stress, being busy, everyday life occurrences, and it's on a different scale.

So Sitting in [00:18:00] traffic for most of us is a little bit different than if we were in traffic and got into a car accident or another type of traumatic event. And it's not that all traumatic events that someone experiences then kind of stay in the body and reside in the body. It's how someone interprets that, the support that they have before or after.

And sometimes it takes just It's time to move through and work, work with, and I would also say through, there's like different layers. It's like an onion where we peel back and it's like, Oh, actually there's a little bit more. There's a little bit more there. So once I started teaching in this way, it was helpful for people, whether some people lean into learning more about trauma, there's, you know, the nervous system language is a little bit more helpful or just the energy.

Do you have high energy, mid energy, or kind of like blah energy. Um, and so I think it's important for us to be able to choose how we're going to move the body. So even though someone who I work with, they may be able to do the most [00:19:00] advanced level exercises, doesn't mean that that type of workout, maybe fast paced class, really challenging level three exercises is going to be suitable for their body every time.

And most people are probably thinking, well, of course not like different options, uh, are beneficial and it could be for a variety of reasons. And so I think it's just Um, and so I think it's important that we're just playing with this a little bit concept that even once we can do a certain type of exercise or movement doesn't mean it's always going to be the most beneficial path to follow.

And it just takes some, I would say, curiosity, some exploration. And this is another element, I think, where moms really thrive is because we get down on the floor and play with our kids and we use our imagination and we explore and we're curious and our kids are exploring the world, even if they're now adults, they're exploring in a different way than we're exploring the world, and it can help [00:20:00] us tune in and explore, well, what would make sense for us right now?

Is it something that I want to just do that more challenging class? Or is that not feeling right today? Yeah. And I think I want to just say to the listeners, it's like, because a lot of times we don't take the time to ask ourselves that, right. It's just like, okay, I made time to do Pilates, you know, let's go do it.

Or I made time to walk. Let's go do, but not, you don't take a pause to actually ask yourself, how am I feeling today? What do I need today? Um, is this the level I want to do today? Right. We just like, if we feel bleh, then we're just like, no, I don't want to do it. If I feel great, like, okay, let's go do it.

But maybe that we should add that in a little bit to kind of pause and see if the workout we chose for today. Is actually what we need today. I love that. That pausing and checking in is so helpful. And I have found the more people do this, and I always encourage check in before, during, and [00:21:00] after. How are you feeling before?

Know that sometimes a lot of people, why they step on their Pilates mat is because they know they're going to have an energetic shift with the workout and they'll feel better afterwards, but sometimes what happens We're feeling like, okay, I'm going to try to work out and we'll get into it. And it's like, oh, this is, this isn't what I thought it was going to be.

And the great thing about workouts at home, you can press stop and you can do something else. There's been plenty of time when I've done that and it was more beneficial. What this does is give you information of, okay, your body now knows you're going to truly listen to it. Your thinking brain is going to truly listen to it.

And you'll start trusting yourself more in this process. And it's. It's really fun to see how people, the guilt has come off of workouts, that they are able to take time away from working out. You know, we've been talking about consistency and I would say also consistency. If you've been consistent for three [00:22:00] months time, you can shorten that if you're just straight out to two months.

Take a week off, give your body a week off. And this could be where you're just going to do gentle stretches, or you're going to do walking, but you're not thinking of want to make progress. And actually what people have found who have done this is they come back even stronger because it's a more of a full body reset rather than just like My couch example as a rest or one day throughout the week as a rest day, which sometimes a lot of people talk about, I advocate for more rest periods.

And this has been really liberating for a lot of people who I work with. Yeah, it's funny. I'm thinking of a client that I have who does a lot of this type of work where she'll do yoga or Pilates. I know they're different, but like just gentler stuff than, you know, she's like, I used to do like marathons and run and really hardcore stuff.

And she's like, I'm in better shape now. [00:23:00] doing less and listening to myself than I was doing more. So it's, it is interesting, the shift that happens when you do listen to your body and you choose the workouts that really are supporting you mentally, physically, emotionally, you know, you're healthier.

And , I think like leaning into stories where we hear people have that shift and then being open to giving it a try. And sometimes And I remember this, it just felt like a constriction. Like I didn't get my workout in today. Like my whole week is thrown off. And what I had to do was zoom out. And actually it was after I read an article about kids eating their vegetables.

My kids were toddlers. I was concerned they weren't getting enough vegetables in. And this article said, instead of focusing just on that one meal or even just on the day, think about the overall week. And if the overall week, wasn't that great. Well, can you zoom out a little bit more? And are you continuing, like, trying?

And so sometimes I just really like [00:24:00] to zoom out because as important as workouts are for me, they are also my profession and not only what I personally enjoy doing, it doesn't consume my whole life and they're not always. going to be my top priority. In fact, there's a lot of different priorities that we are all juggling through with every day.

So sometimes it's just zooming out. And if we think, okay, for the next week or even the next month, if I focus on something more soothing and nourishing, think about the benefits of workouts. is over your lifetime. And sometimes I can take the pressure off. And for those people who's like, Oh my gosh, I have to do it for life.

I can almost guarantee that there is that You've been doing workouts that you don't really enjoy. Kind of like, like you like walking. You said, that's your thing. I enjoy it too. Well, what else, can we explore for movement, whether it's cardiovascular fitness or [00:25:00] strength that we like and just give things a go.

Just like we enroll our kids in different activities and they're like, no, not, you know, T ball now, not really soccer. Oh, but maybe basketball. We can keep having that same opportunity as it dealt with trying not only different types of workouts, but different types with different types of teachers with different types of yoga or Pilates.

So knowing that that is an opportunity, I think. is really fun. Because then it's like, Oh, well, what do I actually like to do? And just like we change, like our workouts can change. Like we're not we're probably different than we were maybe pre kids, you know, and as we get older, we're much different. So It's okay not to always go back to the thing that was working when we were younger or before kids.

So I used to run. I used to do marathons back in the day. I have no interest [00:26:00] in running. It sounds terrible, like my joints, like no thank you, but put me walking and I'm so happy. But you're right, like walking, I should add something else in there. Sometimes I'll grab some weights and because I'm not like huge on lifting, I get a little bored.

I'll walk while like doing some lifting stuff just because I'm still doing something I love. So I kind of stack those a little bit together. Maybe not ideal, but it's I get it in. So yeah, so be creative, but yes, know that you're changing and what you like to do to move might change too. And that's really one of the reasons why there's so many options that I teach with because I've been doing Pilates for 20 years.

And before I went into understanding nervous system and trauma, it was very much long workouts, challenging, like always trying to get better. And once I took that pressure off and they realized, Well, you know, I'm just getting back in after my babies or I'm [00:27:00] just getting it back in after I took some vacation time off, or I'm just feeling that a hundred percent today having that adaptability was so liberating and it unlocked just so many different options, just even within Pilates.

And I would say we can do this with any type of workouts, even walking, like you had mentioned walking without weights. with weights. I'm rehabbing my ankle right now from a really major sprain. And so walking is something I'm trying to get more consistent at Bell butt stamina. And yesterday I was like, okay, I'm going to walk, but I'm going to try to have a little spurt where I'm walking just a little bit faster for about 30 seconds.

See how my ankle does with it. However, I can still use that same strategy. If I'm not recovering from an ankle, just to get that heart rate up more and then bring it down. My interval training is Super fun to do, especially maybe if you're like, Oh, but I want to walk a little slower. Well, just a little spurt of energy and see how it feels.

Now, what [00:28:00] can moms do that are listening today? Just to take that first step into maybe even Pilates, what you're offering. I think it's first figuring out what makes sense for you and your timeframe. So there's no one right time to work out. And that's what I really love about what we know now, like a few years ago, I can even reference like four years ago, it was like workout in the morning.

That's the best time to work out. Well, now research shows that's not actually accurate. And what's the best time to work out is what makes sense in your schedule. So that could be that. If your baby's doing tummy time, you're going to squeeze in a 10 minute workout, or you're going to do it at a different time during the day and figure out what time makes sense for you.

And you and I, we both like home workouts, but maybe that's not everyone. Some people may want to get away and go work out. So start to squeeze in. Think about what would be most motivating, [00:29:00] practical and beneficial for you to explore. And Yes, once you get to, having a habit, you, you want to stay more consistent with it.

Yet at first it is not that hour long workout. It is formulating that plan. And then maybe it's, uh, working out for that five or 10 minutes and seeing if you can do that consistently and then having a slow build is so much more important. So perhaps it's, I'm going to focus on workouts, uh, And be a 10 minute workout and be happy that I showed up for myself for five days within a seven day period, whatever it may be.

And that's an example I've used for myself in the past. I've used lots of other models and it's just about making the model work for where you are right now. And what's really motivating and I think what's fun is It's fun to start to feel your body again, as [00:30:00] long as it feels good. And that doesn't mean it can't be challenging, but it'd be like, Oh, my neck or my back is really feeling uncomfortable or my hip.

Well, those are signs that you need to do something a little bit different. Maybe turn down the intensity a little bit. And also it would be negligent of me not to acknowledge this is sometimes. seeking care from a medical professional and you may need a referral to a physical therapist or working with someone one on one.

Sometimes that's a trajectory just needed for our understanding of our body. So feel into that body, have it feel good, even if it's temporary. on the challenging side, just not to the discomfort to pain side. Yeah. We don't want any injuries here. So tell us a little bit where we can find you and what you offer.

So you can find me at trifectapilates. com. We have offerings on YouTube and then there's also a more extensive offering within the [00:31:00] app, which makes it even easier because You can quickly filter your search, like I mentioned, like if you want to focus on maybe short 15 minute workouts, you can click 15, maybe core focus class.

I'm just going to show you those classes. So people have found it's really easy to get in there. And you can download classes as well for viewing offline. So either one of those options is great and you can find out more on our website. Awesome, and we'll have your website in the show notes so you guys can just click on it and access all that you're offering.

So thank you so much. I'm personally excited. I already told myself coming on to this podcast that after this podcast, I'm going to try to incorporate Pilates like this Twice a week, simple, maybe, maybe those 15 minute ones, , just so I can do them and just start it because it's something I've always wanted to incorporate, but just for some reason, never got around to it.

I love it. Well, I cannot wait to see you on the mat. Thank you.

Thank you for joining [00:32:00] us today for this episode. I hope you are inspired to start your Pilates journey or whatever workout feels good to you. if you want to catch some of Beth's videos or all the things she actually has to offer, just click on the link in the show notes.

YouTube videos as well. If you just want to Start trying some Pilates. It's a great resource that she offers. And those links are also in the show notes.

And until next week, keep carving out time for yourself, check in with yourself, pause a minute, see how you're feeling so that you can choose what activity is best for you that day. And make sure you come back next Tuesday, where we'll be releasing another incredible episode with another incredible mom.